Life Spent Wagging

gone adventuring. back when real life gets a little less exciting.

2012-01-19T15:52:00.001-08:00

A Day Off

2011-12-02T09:54:00.001-08:00

Me: Murphy! It’s our day off! What should we do? We could hike, we could ski, we could play chuck-it for hours!

Murph: …….

Me: Yeah I guess we could stay in bed just a bit longer.

another beautiful day in the neighborhood

2011-11-15T20:59:00.001-08:00

The ski area I work at will be opening any day now, and I spent today up at the mountain taking care of a large number of last minute tasks and problems in preparation for the beginning of the season. As we open I will transition from working at our office in town most days to being at the mountain every day.

Guess who is pretty happy about this?

(Hint: He is gold, and fluffy, and is going on his 3rd year of attempting to eat all of the snow in the Northern Cascades).

I sometimes struggle to explain my job to people because it involves such a wide range of skills and responsibilities depending on the day and the time of year. I don't make very much money (shocking, I know). But the constants that make it all worth it are the people that I get to work with and the beautiful mountains I get to work in.

Anyway. Today was a beautiful day. And now I am relaxing with a glass of wine, BBC America, and Murphy sitting on my feet.

On (not) being a victim

2011-11-14T22:59:00.000-08:00

I feel like crap today. My neck hurts. I'm frustrated with a number of things in my life that are seemingly out of my control. I'm not sure whether they are actually out of my control or whether I just can't figure out how to take control of them. Murphy has been acting up this evening because I hit snooze for two hours this morning and therefore sacrificed his walk time.

Whine.

Whine, whine, whine...

So I came here to my blog for the first time in a month or so. And I re-read the posts I wrote right after I got hurt, and last fall when I was going through such a rough time with the pain, and I started to feel a little bit better. I rose just a little bit out of the crabby black hole.

I had a conversation with a good friend a few weeks ago about how different people deal with difficult times in their life, and I was reminded of it again today by an acquaintance's facebook status. This person's facebook statuses are an endless log of misery, bad fortune, perceived wrongs, and hopelessness.

It seems almost impossible that someone could have such bad luck (this is coming from the girl who broke her neck in a damn foam pit)! As a seemingly reasonable number of complaints have multiplied over the last few months into a steady stream of negativity, I began to realize that NOT ONCE - not a SINGLE TIME - did this person ever take any sort of responsibility for the things that seemed to be happening to them.

I went through a phase like that last fall. It lasted about a month and it was possibly the most miserable month of my life. I felt like a victim of the world, I acted like a victim of the world, I whined and cried and complained and manipulated like a victim of the world. And shockingly, all of that led not to massive amounts of sympathy and a significant improvement in my life, but to....

Me feeling even more miserable and like even more a victim of the world.

When I began to see the light and take some responsibility for improving my life - rather than just waiting around for the universe to stop raining shit on my head - things got a lot better. Suddenly my friends were more supportive and more interested in being around me (crazy considering what a resounding joy victim-Kira was to be around, ha).

I returned to feeling proud of myself for weathering a crappy time in my life well, and other people returned to respecting me for it.

I've been roughly in that state for the last year or so. That said, what I'm starting to realize is that it's not about whether other people think highly of me because of how I've acted in the last few years. If other people see me as strong or resilient or whatever because of how I've acted, that's sweet.

But rather than striving to be content with my life to gain the respect of others or as a point of personal pride, I'm (slowly) beginning to strive to be content with my life because that is simply the best and most enjoyable way to live. I never benefitted or gained any happiness from acting like a victim. I felt like shit.

So, at the risk of sounding like a preachy self help book, I am going to bookmark this post for the next time I feel tempted to write a vague facebook status fishing for sympathy or like just wallowing in a puddle of self pity all night.

We're not dead, we've just been working hard.

2011-10-11T20:30:00.000-07:00

Working on getting everything ready for the snow to fall. Trying to still make time for dog walking and yoga and all the fun stuff. Unfortunately not doing so well at making time for blogging. Still trying, though!

What we've been up to lately.

2011-09-29T21:45:00.000-07:00

Murphy passed his CGC. I was pretty nervous leading up to it, particularly about the whole "sitting still for petting" thing, but in the end the test was pretty easy. Murphy didn't stay perfectly sitting - he did stand up - but he stayed calm, and it turns out they are actually allowed to stand as long as they sit first and don't do anything inappropriate.
Since then, Murphy has been acting like a terror. I think he might have started to realize that he was setting the expectations way too high... much easier to be a brat 90% of the time and then get rewarded for the rare instance when you behave yourself... ugh.
I've been back at work. Not quite full time yet, but with a 1hr commute each way the days sure seem long enough! Which leads us to...
I spend most days working on printed materials/website stuff. And that means when I get home...I don't necessarily feel like spending more time writing/posting photos/thinking of ideas for this blog.
And that's about it! Just waiting for the snow to fall :)

Murphy passed his CGC test!

2011-09-19T21:18:00.001-07:00

I had a long day today so I'll write more another day, but Murphy passed with flying colors!

Please tell me no one could possibly fail this face!

2011-09-17T01:02:00.000-07:00

CGC test in 12 hours!

Murphy's citizenship.

2011-09-14T16:53:00.000-07:00

Murphy and I are taking the Canine Good Citizen test on Saturday.

Here are the 10 test items:

Accepting a friendly stranger - easy! Murphy loves friendly strangers!

Appearance and grooming - easy! Murphy is pretty and more or less oblivious to being messed with.
Out for a walk (walking on a loose lead) - Doable, especially now that an Easy Walk Harness is allowed.
Walking through a crowd - Fine, Murphy can handle crowds.
Sit and down on command and Staying in place - Easy, unless he does his rare but maddeningly stubborn "I randomly do not feel like sitting right now" routine, in which case I will have to touch him - gently - which is allowed.
Coming when called - Easy in the test conditions.
Reaction to another dog - Easy, what other dog?
Reaction to distraction - Easy, he probably won't notice at all.
Supervised separation - Easy, he probably wouldn't notice if I never came back, as long as his stranger was friendly.

Sitting politely for petting.

Uh oh.

Does that say SITTING? POLITELY? While receiving attention? But how could one possibly remain seated while wagging their tail so hard their butt is swinging violently in a 180 degree arc? How could one remain calm while a PERSON is giving them ATTENTION!

Yeah, I'm worried about that one.

So Murphy is going to the groomer tomorrow. Hopefully we can sway the evaluator with his incredible cuteness. And if he fails, at least he will smell good doing it.

Murphy, the rare Golden Retriever/Rabbit hybrid!

2011-09-07T12:27:00.000-07:00

Housekeeping

2011-09-06T11:38:00.000-07:00

I got rid of Disqus for comments because, quite frankly, it's annoying. I've been meaning to do this for a long time, but have been putting it off for fear that I would lose all of my comments for the last year or my blog would explode or whatever. The process was relatively painless though... and MOST of the comments appear to still exist. Some have lost the link to the authors page and some are just inexplicably missing, but from here forward at least things will be easy!

Also, Dr. Google says that based on my symptoms, I definitely have the swine flu. And we know Dr. Google is never wrong.

Last summer adventures...

2011-09-05T18:24:00.000-07:00

We headed down the coast for a quick camping trip. Not enough time or money for one of our epic multi week camping extravaganzas, so just a quick couple of nights at Ft. Stevens State Park.

We chewed sticks by a shipwreck.

(Well, Murphy chewed sticks).

The campground was almost completely packed but we lucked out and got a decent site. I'm reasonably confident we were the only people in our whole loop with "just" a tent. Everyone has giant RVs and motorhomes and palatial canopies. I must admit I find the idea of an RV pretty attractive. Or maybe a sleek airstream trailer. But then I think about how much it would cost to buy gas! Big difference from a 25+mpg Subaru.

Murphy would really have liked to visit an off leash beach, but we settled from this one that was walking distance from the campground instead. Plus a wet, sandy dog isn't really the most wonderful tent partner.

We attached ourselves to a tour some rangers were giving of Battery Russell. Murphy for the most part was a respectful tourist, we heard some cool stories, and we even got stickers at the end. Ft. Stevens was the only place in the continental US to be fired on during WWII. The Japanese submarine that fired those shots later returned with a dismantled float plane which was reassembled and dropped incendiary bombs over forests along the coast. Crazy stuff!

Then and Now Tuesday!

2011-08-02T23:08:00.000-07:00

Remember when I used to post comparison photos every Tuesday?

(August 2009 - 4 months old)

August 2011

reality of the situation...

2011-08-01T18:42:00.000-07:00

I acquired most of the following that this blog has by writing about breaking my neck, being put back together like humpty dumpty, and trying to go on with my "normal" life. Since I got hurt more than a year ago, I've stopped writing so much about being hurt and everything that went along with it, but that doesn't mean that it still doesn't exact a constant and sometimes overwhelming influence on my life.

I know one person who, every time I have seen them over the last year, has asked: "Well your neck doesn't hurt anymore, right?"

At times this has driven me to frustration and anger and long drawn-out rants about how annoying it is. I don't think that this person persistently asks because they are insensitive or lack compassion or are attempting some weird brand of sarcasm. I think they ask because they want me to say "That's right! It doesn't hurt anymore!", because they truly are concerned and it would really make them feel better to hear that I am not in pain.

Unfortunately, it turns out that no matter of wanting and wishing on my part, or anyone else's, can change the fact that my neck does still hurt. Unlike most of the last 15 months, it doesn't hurt all of the time or even most of the time, but it does hurt every day.

There really are no moments where I forget that I broke my neck.

When I was first in the hospital in traction, a nurse told me that in a few weeks the whole experience would just feel like a bad dream. She was a good nurse and a good person and I think she probably believed that was true. (And considering the fact that all that stood between me and a pretty devastating spinal cord injury was some serious luck, I really have returned to a normal life and this neck breaking thing was a relatively small blip). But to be honest, it really doesn't feel like just a bad dream that is now in my past - at all! It feels like a stupid mistake, or a freak accident, or whatever, that despite my relatively positive outcome has absolutely colored a significant portion of my life and inevitably will continue to do so for the foreseeable future and probably forever.

And that's kind of a bummer.

If you'd like to maintain a view of me as an enlightened and supremely appreciative and well-perspectived person, read this paragraph and then skip the rest of this post. I am amazingly lucky. I easily could be dead. I easily could be a quadriplegic with very limited functioning. Every day that I am able bodied and can walk and use my hands and take care of myself and my dog and wash the dishes and clean and re-organize the shed is one that I am incredibly lucky to have. If I were paralyzed, I think I would probably long to live even a "bad" day as I am now. And so I strive to live each day with that sense of appreciation.

But… but… It still sucks.

I'm not allowed to do headstands. Now, I've done a bunch of headstands in my life. Way more than the average person I would imagine. And I never really had an affinity for them, if you had asked me 5 minutes before I got hurt how I felt about headstands my answer would have been quite ambivalent. Take it or leave it. But these days, post-injury, now that I'm dabbling more in yoga, it really upsets me that headstands are forbidden. Not necessarily because I am going to miss out on the benefits of being inverted, because I can still do a handstand, but just because I am not even 25 years old, and it seems totally unfair that my body is already dictating such limits on what I can do.

Similarly, a good friend has taken up running (something I have always strived for but never actually succeeded at), and I'm finding that I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO DO THAT TOO, but wait, probably my neck is under enough stress as it is, and is it really necessary to add stress to my already compromised and naturally degenerating spine with something like running? I am jealous.

So, like this post, I flip-flop frequently between extreme thankfulness and extreme frustration about the whole situation. This may be why I have a hard time writing for this blog anymore, because sharing my true feelings is likely to betray my image as so resilient and well-adjusted.

Next thing you know, I'll be telling you Murphy is not actually gold!

Lazy summer days...

2011-07-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

Since I got home from Europe, Murphy and I have been enjoying a seemingly endless parade of lazy summer days.

Well, sort of.

I'm not working right now so money is a little tight.

It's rained almost every day.

I have been repainting the bathroom, which so far has required 1 coat of primer, 1 coat of paint, another coat of primer when I decided I didn't like that color of paint, and then 2 more coats to finish with a color I did like (wait for it... white!).

But in between the crappy weather and the lack of employment and the painting, we've managed to have a little bit of fun.

But just a little bit.

Some (more) European Highlights - Germany

2011-07-19T17:33:00.000-07:00

Some European Highlights - Amsterdam

2011-07-17T15:10:00.000-07:00

Camp Murphy

2011-07-14T13:03:00.000-07:00

This is Cali.

Cali is my boss's puppy.

6 year old puppy, that is.

Like Murphy, she has a deceptively young appearance, and - also like Murphy - she does not hesitate to reap the rewards.

"Oh! What an adorable little puppy," customers gush.

She spent 5 days with us this last week while her family went to a wedding.

Murphy enjoys having canine visitors. He would prefer that they bring their humans with them (for maximum petting potential, of course) but any guest is a good guest in the Murphster's eyes. As long as everyone remembers that it is Murphy's house. And as long as none of the other guests are allowed to sleep on the bed.

Cali has a 1.5 year old human sibling at home, so while at Camp Murphy she thoroughly enjoyed the freedom of getting all of the DOG toys out of the box and scattering them conveniently around the house without any contamination from those pesky human toys.

Cali: "Uh, does she always sit around by herself on a Friday night taking pictures of you?"

Murphy: "Yeah... pretty much. Just a few more then we'll get our cookies."

Serious pre-bedtime chewing session:

I think Cali enjoyed her visit. Other than that one very minor barely noticeable confrontation with the neighbor's cat, it went off without a hitch!

Home Sweet Home!

2011-07-08T08:40:00.000-07:00

Only thing better than a European adventure?

...being back home with this guy.

this past week.

2011-06-16T10:25:00.000-07:00

1. Last minute travel planning - I'm leaving on a spontaneous European adventure on Wednesday.

2. "Quick" trip over the mountains to help Luke move some stuff back west for the summer.

3. Trying not to freak out over last minute travel plans.

On the future of Life Spent Wagging...

2011-06-10T23:30:00.000-07:00

This blog became successful because I filled a small but apparently fascinating niche. Not just a "dog blog", not just a "girl with a broken neck blog" - a "girl with a broken neck and a fluffy golden dog blog". But over a year after my injury and my real start at blogging, it has been difficult for me to write quality posts. I'm just not sure what to write about.

It's hard to write about my neck without feeling like I'm just whining unnecessarily.
It's hard to write about Murphy because he has grown into a pretty stable and predictable dog.

So I find myself opening up the "new post" page, staring at blank wall of white space for awhile, and giving up. (The limited internet access doesn't help much either).

It is simply easier not to write.

I had hoped to write an epic and enlightening and moving post to commemorate the one year anniversary of my injury, but when I sat down to actually do it, I just didn't know what to say. And so I never wrote about it. I didn't want to write something disappointing or shallow or, maybe most frighteningly, something boring.

But that's kind of silly!

My experience has been unique, but the challenges that I face are generally the same as everyone else. I am in my early 20s and striving for true happiness. I am trying to learn how to make lasting changes in my life and get rid of bad habits. And every day I try to maintain some sort of perspective and appreciation for all the things I do have.

Like Murphy!

I do have more to say, and I will keep blogging. I am going to try to worry a little bit less about writing something amazing all the time, and return to just writing whatever I'm thinking about. If there's something you'd like to hear about, let me know.

I have a confession to make.

2011-05-20T17:02:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make.

Murphy was an oversized puppy. He was the biggest in his litter. His breeder considered keeping him as a show prospect before deciding he would likely grow to be slightly too giant. I spent most of his puppyhood listening to people talk about his snowshoe sized paws and future hugeness.

...and then nothing. He didn't get big. He didn't even make it to average sized. He weighed just under 60 lbs at 10 months and just about 60lbs when he was neutered at 13 months. I thought he would "fill out" as he approached 2 years old, but now, at 25 months, Murphy weighs...60lbs. I keep him pretty skinny due to an extreme paranoia about joint problems and I think if he were being shown 65lbs (the bottom of the breed standard) might be just about perfect.

Here is the confession part: Due to his size and babyface, the vast majority of people assume Murphy is a puppy.

Well ok, here is the real confession: Sometimes, I do not correct them.

I've found that it is significantly more acceptable to have a puppy who gives the full excessive golden retriever roo-rooing wiggle-butt greeting than to try to explain why your adult dog is acting like a total fool.

I hope you can forgive me.

And I swear, he is good MOST of the time. See:

Murphy, Mimosas, and... pastries?

2011-05-19T23:27:00.000-07:00

I spent the last week visiting my longtime best friend Sara in Denver/Boulder/Laramie. The weather was varied, from drizzly to dumping rain to hailing to snowing... Meanwhile home in Washington it was sunny (figures).

It was a great trip. But I really missed Murphy. I mean, we are pretty close. We normally spend a lot of time together. And I think this was the longest time we have ever been separated.

He is my hiking buddy:

and personal heating pad when my neck is sore:

That said, he seemed to be having a pretty ok time hanging out with my parents and his brother Maestro the cat.

Meanwhile I drowned my sorrow in mimosas...and maybe some beignets....

untitled...

2011-05-16T20:23:00.000-07:00

I had every intention of returning to regular blogging with an exceedingly positive post about life 1-year-post-coming uncomfortably close to paralysis.

Which is probably why I haven't blogged in almost two weeks.

I don't feel like writing anything exceedingly positive. The truth is that in the last 1.5 years, my life has sucked in a lot of ways. I got dumped, I broke my neck, my mom got cancer, and throughout the whole mess I have waited somewhat patiently for the shitstorm to end and for the karmic alignment of the universe to come back into balance. I think I may still be waiting.

I am not prepared to lie and say that my life is totally wonderful.

I am incredibly lucky not to be a quadriplegic.
I am pretty damn unlucky to have broken my neck in the first place.

In the last year I have learned a huge amount about perspective and perseverance. I am much wiser than I was than I was a year ago. But I am not yet wise enough to completely let go of the guilt and resentment and frustration.

Yet...

One Year Ago

2011-05-05T13:54:00.000-07:00

I will write more later, but for now read my first few posts after getting out of the hospital:

First
Second
Third

Still Winter in April.

2011-04-29T20:30:00.000-07:00

Have you guys heard of this thing called Spring? It's supposedly a season that arrives immediately after Winter, and leads cheerily into another season called Summer. I've heard it is supposed to show up around this time of year, and bring warmer temperatures and sunny days. I don't know about you guys, but we sure haven't seen it yet.

Tuesday April 18

On multiple occasions, I had grand plans to take my car into town and have my snow tires switched out for the good old all-seasons. On the multiple mornings I had plans to do that, I woke up to snow. And not even just a trace of snow, actual real-life significant snowfall. Last week I eventually got fed up with the low gas mileage and drag and had them switched out despite the snowfall.

Although Spring does not seem to have arrived in earnest, we have had a few sunny days. Last Wednesday I decided to take advantage of dry and above-freezing whether to go hiking. I haven't carried a backpack or been hiking since I got hurt, but it went surprisingly well.

Murphy at Fragrance Lake (drooling).

Then this last weekend was closing weekend at the mountain. We had sunshine on Saturday and Murphy enjoyed the festivities with everyone in the beer garden and then continuing on all night in the parking lot. We had a great time camping out and Murphy particularly enjoyed the next morning's breakfast activities.

The day after closing day Murphy and I headed south to visit my good friend/old roommate near Hood River, Oregon. She is a ski patroller and it was nice to go play on "someone else's mountain" for a day. Even better, they have avalanche dogs! Their program is relatively new, and their dogs are still quite young, but it absolutely made me jealous that we don't have one at home.

On Wednesday we headed east along the Columbia River. Here's a picture of me overlooking the river just east of Hood River.

Now we are in Eastern Washington visiting Luke. I would share with you what we plan to do next, but I have hardly any clue myself. Unfortunately I am temporarily unemployed for the next few months. If anyone has any incredibly high-paying work they'd like to hire me for, please let me know! I'm available!

In the meantime, enjoy the Saturday pet blog hop!

A Brief Adventure

2011-04-13T19:32:00.000-07:00

On Sunday afternoon, after three days of snowboarding and an unreasonable sense of annoyance at the fact that it was forecasted to rain for the next three days, I decided that Murphy and I were going to embark on a bit of a roadtrip.

We went to visit Luke in Eastern Washington.

And we went to Riverside State Park in Spokane, which was quite nice.

On the way home today we stopped above Vantage to enjoy an awesome view of the Gorge.

Murphy has daycare tomorrow and I have some meetings, so unfortunately it was a short trip. I think we are both ready for a slightly longer adventure next!

Cooking With Murphy

2011-04-12T09:00:00.001-07:00

Murphy has been a bit disappointed lately with the quality of posts on "his" blog. He things we need to offer more content.

I am a terrible, horrible, no good cook. I can make delicious toast, vegan chocolate cake, and guacamole. Other than that I'm pretty lacking in the kitchen skills. But in an effort to increase the variety in my diet and also fulfill Murphy's desire for a more appealing blog, last week I decided to actually cook something and document the process in photos.

Murphy and I have had a difficult time coming to an agreement about who was really the brains behind the operation, but he is infinitely cuter than I am so I will let him win this one. So I present to you:

Murphy Cooks Quinoa and Black Bean Chili

Recipe

Step 1: Gather your ingredients. This is a good recipe for those of you who have non-meat eating humans, or humans like mine who eat meat but are incapable/terrified of cooking it properly. Quinoa is a neat grain that is very high in protein and totally delicious. You should probably also get an onion. My human/sous chef forgot the onion.

Step 2: Inspect the ingredients your sous chef has chosen. If something is not satisfactory, make sure to send them back to the store to get a specimen that is up to standard. Especially if you live 40 minutes away from the nearest large grocery store.

Step 3: Supervise the chopping of vegetables. Pay especially close attention during this phase as human sous chefs tend to be lazy and may have difficulty achieving chopping and mincing uniformity.

Step 4: I call this part the sniff test. This is the portion of the process where your human assistant will be rushing frantically around trying to get the quinoa cooked enough but not too much, sixteen different cans open at once, and generally making a mess of the once-immaculate kitchen. Your role here is to remain in the kitchen, preferably underfoot, in order to monitor the smell of your slowly cooking chili.

Step 5: Taste, taste, taste! This is absolutely the most important part. Do not forgot to taste your food throughout the cooking process, season accordingly, and taste again. And again. And again. And at the end take one more bite just to make sure the flavor does not change unfavorably between the pot and spoon and mouth.

Murphy's final thought: Delicious. I think... I don't really taste things, I kind of just inhale. But I think it was probably delicious. I should maybe go have another bite just to check. But it was probably good. Since I did such a good job supervising.

Kira's final thought: This actually turned out pretty well! I wish I had remembered to buy an onion, but the quinoa is really good!

My roommate Peder's manly opinion: You know what would make this better? Meat.

Happy Birthday Murphy!

2011-04-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

Murphy turned TWO whole years old on April 7th! It's still hard to believe that my ridiculously fuzzy wriggly golden ball of fluff is now considered a full grown adult!

His birthday this year was on a Thursday, and he goes to daycare on Thursdays.

Which worked out perfectly since that is basically his favorite thing in the whole world.

Here he is with the rest of his playgroup!

Birthdays mean presents, of course.

(You know your dog is spoiled when you go into the store

and can't find a single toy he hasn't already owned and destroyed at least once...)

Murphy got a new dark blue collar, which looks quite handsome.

A new squeaky dog by the same company as his Cuz,

but infinitely more annoying because he can actually get his jaws around this one to squeak it.

And a new leopard, destined to be stuffing free in record time.

In honor of his 2nd birthday and official entry into adulthood, Murphy has behaved like a complete terror for the last week.

Mulligan Visits Camp Murphy.

2011-03-31T17:10:00.000-07:00

When I was in the hospital the second time last summer, Murphy stayed with some of my friends from the mountain and their dog, Mulligan. Mulligan is a rescue dog who I believe was billed as a Labradoodle by the rescue group but on further inspection seems to embody a bit of a punk rock Irish Wolfhound look. He has coarse curly hair and an adorable mohawk and dinosaur sized paws and ears.

Whatever Mulligan is, he is unquestionably loveable and loving and quite large. And he spent a few days with us last weekend while his people were on a trip.

Do you see how dainty and teeny tiny Murphy's paws look in comparison to Mully's?

Here Mulligan demonstrates his superior tennis ball catching skills.

Murphy and Mulligan's friendship is based mostly on a shared obsession with tennis balls and chuck-its

and an insatiable desire to retrieve. They coexist perfectly.

Murphy is smaller and generally moves more quickly than Mulligan.

But once you factor in Murphy's strategy of skidding about 15 feet past the ball

and then doubling back to get it, they are quite evenly matched!

Mulligan isn't supposed to go on the furniture at his house, and generally stayed off the couches at ours.

...which Murphy seemed unable to comprehend.

I said he MOSTLY stayed off the couches...

We had a great time, although I'm certain Mulligan was excited to return home at the end of the weekend.

Mulligan's Favorite things about Camp Murphy:

1. The soft blue rubber bone.

2. Being allowed on the furniture.

3. Snow chuck-it.

Mulligan's Least Favorite things about Camp Murphy:

1. Being forced to eat meals in 20 minutes or less due to presence of food-crazed beast who shall remain unnamed.

2. Not being allowed to roam the yard as much as desired due to presence of "not street smart enough to wander the yard unsupervised even though there is rarely another person, vehicle, or dog near the house" beast.

3. Not really getting to use his glow-in-the-dark chuck-it ball due to presence of "would probably think cougar was good playmate in the dark" beast.

Come visit again soon Mulligan!

First Swim of the Year

2011-03-24T11:50:00.000-07:00

We've had beautiful and sunny weather yesterday and today... I don't think it's supposed to last so I'm trying to get as much as possible out of these two days. We were in Seattle visiting my parents yesterday so I took Murphy over to the park for some swimming.

There were about 15-20 dogs in the beach area... Four of them were golden retrievers... Guess how many dogs were actually swimming? (Four).

"I do not want to wrestle right now, I am busy retrieving a very important tennis ball!"

Murphy is at daycare right now and then I am picking up our friend Mulligan the goofy labradoodle. He will be staying with us for the next 4 days or so. I'm a little nervous. Two big gold ridiculously goofy dogs! I have a feeling my large house is going to suddenly feel quite small.

Some photos from the last few days...

2011-03-22T13:57:00.000-07:00

#1 Favorite Activity: Eating Snow.

(OK so this one was actually taken by my roommate Peder at an unknown date...

But it's been looking like this a lot lately!)

#2 Favorite Activity: Eating Tennis Balls.

Two years old going on 8 weeks old.

2011-03-09T13:04:00.000-08:00

We've been waking up to this a lot lately:

Which is nice! But I must say - I am quite glad to have picked a house with a flat driveway.

Murphy and I had a trying day yesterday. After a long and uneventful day of work at the mountain I figured we would play a little chuck-it in the snow before heading home. Unfortunately I couldn't find a single tennis ball in my mess of a car.

No problem, I figured... I'd just throw some snowballs and Murphy could run around in circles and blow off some energy. Yeah...Not really what happened. It seems he completely forgot the meaning of "Murphy" and "Come" and "MURPHY COME HERE RIGHT NOW!" and took himself on a lovely tour of all the cars in the lot and met every poor person who was just trying to take their ski boots off and drive home. Of course once he had thumped his wiggly (and wet...and dirty...) tail against everyone's legs for awhile he came running back and we drove home. He is almost two years old, I wonder if he will ever gain the ability to focus!

Good thing he is so cute.

I say that a lot...

Still alive and wagging.

2011-03-07T16:59:00.000-08:00

My new goal is to blog more than once every two weeks! I had plans to write a big post on my days off last week, but by the time I finished my grocery shopping in town mid-day Thursday I had almost completely succumbed to The Plague (don't worry too much, canines seem to be immune). I think I have mentioned it before, and I will say it again: people who have broken their necks in the last year should be officially pardoned from participating in any illness that involves violent coughing or sneezing. There is just no way that is fair.

I spent about 36 hours hiding in my bed from the world, hoping against all hope that I would somehow magically be better by Saturday morning. No luck there. And unlike normal people who work Monday through Friday and then have Saturday and Sunday off, for me Saturday and Sunday are the longest, hardest days of the week. But anyway, I survived, another few hundred people learned to ski and snowboard, and although I still feel a little bit like that gross mucinex commercial (be appreciative if you have not seen it), life goes on...

Murphy leaves a bit to be desired as a nurse, but at least he's easy on the eyes!

(Ignore the fact that the date in this picture is Feb 11.

Possible the photo is old.

Or possibly I am really bad at changing the date on my clock).

More soon!

P.S. THANK YOU to Sage and Pamela for giving me the Stylish Blogger award! Pretty sweet!

P.P.S. I DID go snowboarding!

Sunny to snowy!

2011-02-23T14:37:00.000-08:00

This weekend it was beautiful and sunny.

It's staying light a bit longer now and so on Saturday Murphy and I were able to enjoy quite a bit of chuck-it in the snow after my post work beer (required for relaxation after a long day of preventing endless minor crises). Word on the street is that in late March Murphy's friend Mulligan will be staying with us for a few days. I've even heard a rumor that Mulligan is in possession of GLOW IN THE DARK CHUCK-IT balls! Murphy stayed with Mulligan and his family while I was in the hospital the second time so we are happy to be able to return the favor!

I think this is a happy dog!

After a nice sunny weekend the snow has officially returned. It has been snowing every day and getting increasingly colder. Probably around 16 degrees up at the ski area today. We've got about 6 inches on the ground at my house and they are even expecting snow at sea level tonight. I had a physical therapy appointment scheduled for tomorrow, but I went ahead and cancelled both that and Murphy's daycare so we can stay home! I have no problem driving in the snow, but it terrifies me to do it in town where most people have no clue what they are doing!

One last rumor for the day -- there is a little bird flitting around telling people that I might put on skis or a snowboard tomorrow and take a run or two for the first time since I got hurt. We'll see how brave I am feeling tomorrow morning!

How to acquire a treat, in pictures.

2011-02-15T12:50:00.000-08:00

Step 1: Stare longingly into space.
Use whiskers and big soulful eyes to accentuate sense of desperation.

Step 2: Switch focus from distant unknown point to possible treat-source.
Continue to look adorable, irresistible, and starving.

Step 3: Enjoy treat.

On getting hurt, living, learning, and my valentine.

2011-02-13T20:19:00.001-08:00

It has been 9 and a half months since I got hurt, and in some ways I'm starting to forget what it was like before (my life is now measured in before-I-got-hurt and since-I-got-hurt) and in some ways I feel like I am still in an unfortunate dream that will be ending any second.

Before-I-got-hurt, I was wildly unappreciative of how good my life really was. I was injured on May 5th, 2010. I haven't gone a single one of the roughly 285 days since then without being in pain. I haven't gone a single day without at least one moment of regret and anger about the seconds that led up to my injury, and I haven't gone a single day without moments of feeling scared about my future. My doctors reassure me that they have ruled out "everything dangerous" and that none of my weird symptoms - my hands falling asleep or buzzing in my fingers or whatever else - are signs of impending doom and paralysis.

But maybe what I need to accept and realize is that I am not that much different than anyone else. I am not a unique and special snowflake subject to some great and rare hardship. I have regrets and frustration and anger about things that have happened to me, some of which I had control over and some of which were pure chance. I have fears about my future.

Who doesn't?

It can be comforting to remember that my emotions and fears are not that fundamentally different than anyone else's. But it would be silly to say that I haven't come away from the experience with some perspective that is less common for a 23 year old.

I have written vaguely about Luke here on my blog in the past, and I will attempt not to delve too deeply or unnecessarily into our history or baggage, but it is somewhat relevant to the story. I met Luke when I was 18, and we dated for almost 4 years. We lived together, graduated college together, lost my first dog together, and raised Murphy together. We also bickered and fought. A lot. We both acknowledged that we weren't perfect in the relationship, but no amount of conversations or pledges to improve led to any real change, and we broke up at the end of 2009. We had almost no contact for the next 5 months, but in April we hung out a few times and we had plans to go out for a drink the night I got hurt.

Instead of a drink, he got a panicked phone call and 24 hours of taking care of someone who could barely move but was in complete denial about having a serious injury.

And here is what I realized when I woke up in the hospital with bolts in my head in traction and having a panic attack: Maybe more strongly than I had ever felt about anything in my life, I was grateful that Luke was there. If one more stupid fight over dirty dishes or bills or who should let Murphy out to pee in the rain or one more legitimate fight about the future and school and moving and jobs had been enough to completely destroy our ties and mean that he wasn't there in the hospital with me, I don't know what I would have done. And no matter how important it surely seemed at the time, that one fight would never, ever have been worth not having him there during the worst experience of my life.

And I think that's a lesson that it takes a very long time for most of us to learn. For me the realization was accelerated by a terrible experience.

I have also learned that there is amazing value to being able to get up in the morning and go to work and walk your dog. I work at a ski area. I am surrounded by people who are passionate and often fanatical about skiing and snowboarding. I am passionate and fanatical about skiing and snowboarding. But no matter how hard it is to persevere through an entire season without making a single turn, it is also mindblowingly insignificant, because I came terrifyingly close to losing the ability to walk or live independently.

On good days, I feel positive about my recovery, my future, and the gain in perspective I've had as a result of my injury. On bad days, I feel like getting hurt has inevitably ruined my life and guaranteed me a lifetime of pain. I feel bitter and angry and sometimes like completely giving up.

But as it turns out (and here is the lesson I am still working on learning)… life goes on.

And as many wonderful and amazing people there are in my life, Murphy is without a doubt my valentine. He is the most reliable, most loving, and without a doubt the fluffiest unwavering companion I could ask for.

After a long weekend...

2011-02-06T22:05:00.000-08:00

I have pretty much nothing to say!

an update on life...

2011-02-03T11:09:00.000-08:00

OK, it's official, I am a terrible blogger. I'm sorry. I miss blogging every day and I miss reading blogs and I miss commenting on them, but it is difficult to make it happen on dial-up internet.

Murphy is still adorable and loving and golden, of course.

I have a schedule again, after a long time of being kind of all over the place, working different days every week, seeing different doctors all the time... I still don't have answers about why my feet get numb or why my hands fall asleep, but I am starting to gain confidence that I will be ok.

I have a recumbent stationary bike - a lovely invention for broken people like me - and I have been doing yoga and planning a few trips and I am SO VERY READY for spring and hiking and being outside.

Golden retriever party.

2011-01-25T11:45:00.000-08:00

I promise Murphy and I are still alive. We have just been a bit busy with working and hosting friends and haven't had much time for the internet.

This last weekend one of my friends stayed with us and brought her golden retriever, Henri. Henri is exactly 4 days older than Murphy! He was happy to play the big brother role, as he outweighs Murphy by about 20lbs (having him around was like having my old dog Pal come back to life!). There was lots of tugging, face chewing, and wrestling.

"Treats please!"

"Maybe if we put our heads together..."

Rain, rain, rain...

2011-01-16T21:37:00.000-08:00

We never did get our 60" of snow, and at the end of the week the freezing level skyrocketed. So for the past few days we have been enduring a torrential downpour of rain. I have been working and Murphy has been trying to keep himself entertained inside.

"The Cuz is cool for awhile....I guess..."

I think he misses his Chuck-it, but he seems to be handling the weather OK.

...and that's about all I've got from the land of dial-up! Hopefully I'll make it to a reasonably efficient internet connection sometime on Tuesday.

Stupid decisions. And snow.

2011-01-11T12:49:00.000-08:00

Sorry to be MIA for so long. I'm back home and back at work. My hands and feet are still falling asleep all the time, mostly during the night, but the doctors say they have ruled out all of the "dangerous" stuff. Jury is still out on whether that's particularly comforting, since they're still not actually sure WHY it's happening.

I was so exhausted on Sunday morning that when I got to work at the mountain I set my parking brake.
On a cold day.

Those of you who live in cold climates know this makes me kind of an idiot, but I was seriously exhausted.
My day proceeded, I addressed mini-crisis after mini-crisis.

My mission to go get lunch was derailed by a mission to spend 1.5 hrs in the aid room with an 8 year old while his mom was located. We had a fascinating discussion on the intricacies of hydras and Hogwarts Legos and practiced our most bored-est faces ever. Meanwhile one of the aid room staff members was chopping his veggies for lunch.

I have never been so tempted to steal a handful of plain garlic.

By the time I finally made it to my car at the end of the day to drive home,
I was still exhausted and now totally starving.

This is the part where those of you who live in cold climates realize that
I WAS NOT GOING ANYWHERE IN MY CAR.

At least not until an hour with the car running, and some handiwork with a torch.

It's supposed to snow something ridiculous like 70" by Friday. Tonight we will be inside making homemade pizza dough and pizzas.

back in the land of circa 1990.

2011-01-05T15:04:00.000-08:00

Back home.
No cell phone reception.
Dial up internet.

Puts a bit of a halt on my blogging, but otherwise, good!

More pictures than words today...

2011-01-03T22:45:00.000-08:00

I've been writing a lot of words here lately. So for this post, I'm going to go ahead and try to let the pictures speak for themselves. I am continuing (since yesterday, haha!) to try to uphold my resolution. Murphy and I started the day with a trip to Marymoor, which is the BEST off leash area around.

We sat and were mindful. About what? Nothing in particular. I think that is the point.

We tossed and retrieved tennis balls. Endlessly.

I failed to get very many good photos of Murphy.

Everything sort of looked the same today.

I really like this photo of Murphy, except for that it shows how long it is taking for the spot on his right cheek that was shaved for his hot spot to grow back.

Marymoor is a bit of a drive from where we're staying at my parents house...

But a pretty enjoyable one.

Hotshot Harborview Spine Center doctor tomorrow morning, bright and early. I have a lot of questions. And I really hope he has answers. I need a true reality check on what I can do. Because today I was feeling a strong urge to call up a yoga center and just sign up for whatever class they though I could manage. Or maybe ballet. But I need a better understanding of what is REALLY good for me at this point. Yoga and ballet would both hurt I'm sure, if for no other reason than that I haven't used those muscles since I got hurt. But maybe there is a difference between pain that is the result of an investment in my body, something with positive results, and pain that is the result of stress and tension.

My real New Years Resolution.

2011-01-03T11:23:00.000-08:00

This is a post that I definitely did not intend on actually publishing.

This is a post about New Years resolutions. There are fragments of clarity in the otherwise plain, unmotivated, and beat down view I have of my life right now. And sometimes, in those moments, I can see myself still becoming what I want. I can see myself being strong again, flexible again, being a rock climbing bad ass chick living wherever I want with my dog (dogs?) and being happy. I want to be in beautiful places on adventures even if I cannot do it all. Even if my injury does hold me bit aback. I am OK with that. I would be so content with managing a base camp of some epic expedition. I will move pieces of paper and mediate squabbles and pack and repack and organize and reorganize and everything! All in a beautiful place helping people do totally awesome things.

And maybe to be happy this year what I need is to view my job like that. I work in a beautiful place facilitating people learning an awesome sport and working with awesome people. It hurts, though, because I cannot ski and snowboard like I used to be able to. What I do there now is a shadow of what I was able to do there before.

My body is in recovery.

Where I have failed is in being an active participant in my recovery. I've had so much frustration from the setbacks and the impossible doctors and all of that, I've had a really hard time moving forward and I think I have missed out on a lot of what I could have been doing to rehabilitate myself.

I am not so injured that I cannot get 45 minutes of cardio exercise everyday.
I am not so emotionally damaged that I need to eat crap to try to make myself feel better.
I am capable of coming through this a better, stronger, person.

So my resolution is to realize that I can still be a real person. I am permanently changed, but maybe not permanently damaged. For many months my recovery was all about the things I could not do. I was not supposed to do this or that or that or that or really much of anything but rest. So that's what I did. But that part of my recovery has passed, and I don't feel like I had much guidance into the next one.

As confirmed by the latest MRI, my body is strong enough to move and to stretch again.

I will see the Physiatrist and tell him that I want to come out of this feeling like a real person, not damaged.
I will be back in PT twice a week starting this week.
I will continue to get 45 minutes of aerobic exercise every day.
Plus be active hiking with Murphy, seeing what kind of yoga a girl with a fused neck can do, maybe some ballet, whatever feels good.

I will do all of these things first.

And then I will work. Because unless I can do these things and continue to improve physically, I am a useless employee.

On off leash areas, crying children, and an update on me, and so on...

2011-01-02T19:45:00.000-08:00

On off leash areas and crying children. It was sunny today, and so our trip to the park was filled with endless other dogs and people and while I actually really like both dogs and other people, I couldn't help but be a bit frustrated. Why would you bring your dogs favorite frisbee in the whole world to the dog park? Particularly if your dog refuses to retrieve? My dog is very friendly and capable of sharing and will drop on command, but I really don't want to spend my whole time at the park trying to keep him from retrieving the favorite-frisbee-ever that your dog refuses to actually go get. My dog is a retriever. He retrieves. Don't give me a dirty look if your retriever is broken and won't go get his toy. Mine will get it for him. Get over it. I bring normal tennis balls to the park because they are dirt cheap and interchangeable and I couldn't care less if we leave without one.

Second, if your child is scared of dogs, DO NOT BRING THEM TO THE DOG PARK. Murphy is a loveable and loving golden retriever. He will delightedly run up to strangers at the park and wag his tail (his whole butt, actually) and if he has his tennis ball in his mouth this will probably involve him making a whining roo-rooing noise that sounds roughly like a small, friendly dragon who cannot contain his excitement. He will not bite you or your child or your dog or your cat or whatever else you have thoughtlessly brought with you to the DOG PARK. Occasionally, because he is not perfect, he will jump up. I am sorry if he jumps on you. I will correct him and apologize. I know that he sometimes jumps up and so I will do my best to distract him from any small children he might feel tempted to knock over. Same goes for babies in those chest carriers whose feet dangle and swing enticingly to and fro.

But let's be serious here people. This is a DOG off leash area. There are not really that many of them in the city, and they are amazingly easy to avoid if you do not wish to be subjected to dogs who are off leash and occasionally do off leash things, like run in you or your child's direction.

I am a nice person. I do not want your child to cry! And neither does Murphy:

Seriously, how could this ever make anyone cry?

Murphy: "I just want to retrieve this ball...over...and over.... and over..."

In injury/recovery news, I had my MRI on Thursday, and X-rays. The good news is that there is nothing "wrong" and my spinal cord is not in any danger. That is really, really, really good news. The bad news is that I have no definitive explanation yet for the symptoms in my hands and feet, except for possibly Raynaud's. And no explanation for why I have been in so much pain lately. I've been staying with my parents and trying to take good care of myself. I am in less pain and overall having less episodes of my hands/feet falling asleep. But this is not a solution, obviously. I cannot stay here forever, or honestly, even much longer.

I have an appointment with a Physiatrist at the Harborview Spine Center on Tuesday. Hopefully I will get some answers, and hopefully I will be back at work sometime later this week.

On internet-land stuff: Today I started reading Linda's blog about her life on the 7 Miles South of Nowhere ranch. I spent hours going back and reading many of her old posts and admiring her photos. She has inspired me to someday own a burro, or two, and preferably also a cat who is accepting of being placed on a burro's back.

I am also really enjoying the photos over at It's a Greyt Day.

And Luke's new blog about jazz, which he says he isn't quite ready to share with the world yet. Stay tuned!

Farewell and F You, 2010.

2011-01-01T23:08:00.000-08:00

June 2009.

Now.

Sorry for those of you who enjoyed 2010, but I'm certainly glad to see it go. I survived getting dumped, breaking my neck, two surgeries, my mom being diagnosed with cancer (she had two surgeries too), and all of the crap that goes along with those things. I am no longer stupid or naive enough to assume that 2011 will be better, but I also know that I desperately need it to be.

"Best" of Life Spent Wagging, 2010

2010-12-30T17:06:00.000-08:00

I've noticed some people making "Best of" 2010 posts and I figured I would jump on the bandwagon. Since my blog is really about two different things, I split up the posts into two sections.

Posts about my injury and recovery

Injury and Surgery #1: The first post about my injury, then about the first week of recovery, and a more introspective post on perspective.

Surgery #2: Finding out I had to have surgery again and 24 hrs post surgery

My thoughts on "just in case" as of the end of June

My summer in X-rays

And most recently, a real update on pain and fairness

Posts about Murphy

The 5 Best Things we did raising Murphy

Then and Now Tuesday, the best photo comparison

The story of how Murphy became my dog

Teaching Murphy to swim

Doggie Socialites - Murphy and Lucy

Pictures and stories from a 3500 mile road trip with a 5 month old puppy

Murphy's very first post

Diagramming the relationship of Murphy and Kira

7 Things you didn't know about us

Murphy Inc. Paper Shredding & Work for Murphy

And check out some of the other blogs who are participating in this best of business!

Murphy's Side Project.

2010-12-28T23:43:00.000-08:00

In addition to paper shredding, Murphy has been doing a bit of moonlighting as a guru lately. He has been assisting me in my quest for enlightenment. He is obviously quite a bit farther along the path than I am, and he'd like to offer you a proverb.

Murphy the Guru's Words of Wisdom for the day: "Until lions become the historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter"

Murphy and Kira on the injured list....

2010-12-27T18:23:00.000-08:00

Mogley and his buddies linked to us today, and I must say Murphy and I are both pretty flattered since I think that Mogley's blog is both hilarious and heartwarming. Most recently he has been sharing the inside scoop on Santa and the animals that ACTUALLY pull his sleigh, Mogley and his 8 Reindog buddies.

For those of you that are reading for the first time, this is a blog about me (Kira) and my 20 month old golden retriever Murphy. I am just under 8 months out from breaking my neck. If you want to you can read the main posts about how I got hurt, my experience in the hospital, and my first surgery here, here, and here. But in reality those were the easy parts. What is hard is adjusting to a life where I hurt every day, I can't do many of the things I used to love, and there is a lot of uncertainty about what exactly is going on in my body. I was doing really well for a few months in the fall, but I have been getting progressively worse for about a month now. Right now I am taking some time off from work to try and figure everything out and get my pain and problems with my hands and feet under control.

Murphy, of course, has been my unwavering supporter from the beginning.

I think this is my last Murphy Xmas picture!

After the usual frustrating back and forth with my neurosurgeon's office staff, I will not actually be getting an MRI or xrays on Wednesday. If nothing else goes wrong, both will happen Thursday morning. I have been taking valium again since a scary incident with my toes going numb (on Friday), and although my pain levels haven't gone down that much, my hands haven't been falling asleep as much. Valium has obvious mental/emotional effects but where it benefits me most is by reducing muscle spasms in my back and neck. I'm taking this as a good sign - that the symptoms in my hands and feet have been the result of tension and circulation issues, not neurological problems.

Thanks for the advice on Murphy's paw pad issues. I think he did a little to much skidding and sliding around in the dirt and mud yesterday. By this morning the cracks had already started to heal up on their own, but I decided to soak and clean his paws and bandage them to be safe. I used gauze and a flexible, waterproof medical tape. They've been taped for 5 hours and he has yet to try and chew the bandages off, so I think we're well on the way to healing. I'm going to pick up some Musher's Secret tomorrow to prevent any future issues.

Tonight we are curled up in bed watching an unreasonable number of episodes of Psych on Netflix, and then maybe eating an unreasonable amount of ice cream.

Christmas Hangover?

2010-12-26T19:25:00.000-08:00

Murphy is working on recovering from the overwhelming day and a half that was Christmas.
Last year on Christmas we spent 2 hours on a meandering walk around town and then pigged out on Indian food all day with one or two other non-Christmas celebrating friends and went to sleep early.
This year, we spent it with Luke, his 2 brothers, his parents, and at varying times, two grandmas, a grandpa, and one uncle.

For me to not be working at this time of year is very strange and very uncomfortable.
I think I made the right decision to take some time.
But I miss work, I miss the people I work with, and I feel completely unproductive.
I'm trying to focus on relaxing, getting plenty of gentle exercise, and the fact that on Wednesday I should have an answer as to what is going on with my neck.
It still sucks.

Murphy is not sure if it sucks, because so far it has meant a whole lot of time with me and going to the park every day. He misses the snow but we've been making up for it with extra chuck-it. I noticed when we got home tonight that he has cuts on his paw pads. It's almost like the pad split and is peeling away in a place, leaving an open wound. I've never seen this before and I'm not sure what to do! He doesn't seem bothered at all and I only noticed because I was absentmindedly messing with his feet.

Advice on cut paw pads? I'm thinking I'll give him a day off from outside walking and playing and see if they look better, but I'm sure at least one person reading this is more knowledgeable than I am!

Merry Christmas from Murphy!

2010-12-24T21:28:00.000-08:00

Although Murphy and I are technically Jewish and my family doesn't celebrate Christmas, Murphy is never opposed to a celebration.

In fact, he seemed quite willing to pose for some celebratory pictures with a nice red bow. He was less excited about the sticky wrapping bow I stuck on his head so there are no pictures of that.

We tried green too but it just didn't look as good with his golden aura.

For Christmas this year, Murphy would like unlimited trips to the dog park and all the snow he can eat.

I would like a brand new spine!

He is drooling just in anticipation of all the snow.

We are spending Christmas with Luke and his family.

I wonder how much of the day I will spend trying to convince Murphy that the tree is not, in fact, edible!

Merry Christmas!

On hiatus.

2010-12-24T17:53:00.000-08:00

Not from blogging.

I'm taking a break from work - something I have pretty much never done before - to try and get my health stuff figured out.

Not sure what else to say. It's not something I feel good or happy about at all.

I have an appointment with my neurosurgeon on Wednesday and I'll be getting some xrays and most likely an MRI.

It did mean that I got to take Murphy to the park today, by my parents' house where I'm staying. I took 17 photos and about 15 of them are of Murphy's fluffy white bloomers so I will spare you that for today and show you the remaining 2 decent photos!

Murphy's Predecessor.

2010-12-24T00:03:00.000-08:00

Pal, 1996-2008

a real update on pain and fairness.

2010-12-21T22:43:00.000-08:00

I'm aware that life isn't fair or supposed to be fair. But there are times still where I feel so completely overwhelmed by the unfairness of all of it. I feel totally physically and emotionally beat down. Like the universe has unleashed 13 months of near constant assault on my ability to be a good and positive person, and most successfully, on my happiness.

It started in November 2009 with some serious heartbreak. I faked my way through months of hurt and depression and told myself that it would get better. I got involved in things that I had always loved to do. I broke my neck doing something I've done thousands of times in my life. I can say a million times that I know how lucky I am to be walking, considering my injury, but what about how unlucky I was to have to get hurt in the first place? They put me back together, twice, and supposedly now I am healed. I am not anything close to healed. I hurt every day. And while I was getting better for a few months, I now seem to be getting worse again. In the last two weeks I have started to have problems with my hands and feet. Tingling and numbness and all sorts of things that are hopefully attributable to poor circulation and not the impending collapse of my spine. I struggle to make it through work days at a job that I have always loved. I come home and as much as I would prefer not to admit it, some days I take vicodin so I can have a break from the unrelenting pain.

My medical bills continue to pile up on my parents dining room table, except for now my PT bills and insurance statements intermingle with my mom's radiation and tumorology reports. I guess this is the "life isn't fair" crap everyone always talks about. Because it definitely isn't fair.

I am so exhausted and worn out and beat up. I no longer want pain as a constant. I want to be happy but I no longer feel like I have the skills to get there. Pain clouds everything. It makes me meaner, more irritable, less funny, less smart. It slows down every cognitive process and makes me seem incompetent at work. Pain destroys. It takes away everything good about me and leaves me just a shadow of the amazing person I was.

I can't successfully explain it to anyone, how I'm losing faith that I will ever get better or be able to live a life anything like the one I lost.

I've been reading KB's blog, http://romp-roll-rockies.blogspot.com/. She has degenerative discs and has had more than her fair share of fusions and pain. But she seems to have come to a so much better place with it than I have.

Right now I just feel beaten. Beaten physically, by long days of working and angry muscles that fight PT every step of the way. Beaten emotionally, knowing that no matter what I do, there's nothing I can do that will make me good enough for the one person I want.

Beaten and hurting and just.... absolutely exhausted.

sick of hurting

2010-12-21T17:24:00.001-08:00

I'm exhausted.
I'm in pain.
I'm ready to go on a vacation.

Work for Murphy.

2010-12-18T19:51:00.000-08:00

First, I'd like to thank everyone who expressed interesting in working for Murphy. He is currently assessing his workload and whether he can justify bringing on any employees yet. He would love the help, but he is not sure whether he can offer an adequate compensation and benefits package. He is currently in negotiations with qualified providers (aka me) for a break room (aka my bed), office amenities (aka me throwing chuck-it), and health care (aka me paying vet bills).

Administrative headquarters.

Break Room.

The Boss.

The Boss's personal assistant.

(He is on break in this photo)

Murphy, Inc: Paper Shredding and Confidentiality Services

2010-12-15T11:38:00.000-08:00

We did some promo photos for Murphy's new business, as you can see here.

written by murphy.

2010-12-13T17:12:00.000-08:00

Hi! It's Murphy again. This week I thought I would tell you guys about some of my favorite places. I am Murphy so of course I love pretty much everything and everywhere, but some places are even better than others.

Home

My Cousin Murphy's House (yeah his name is Murphy too!)

Murphy is really cool, and he shared his toys and his couches and his kids with me,

even though I was a ridiculously obnoxious puppy!

We have the same last name too, since we are cousins.

So I am Murphy-north and he is Murphy-south.

Or he is Murphy-lab and I am Murphy-golden.

Or we are both just "Murphy" and respond to everything.

Murphy has his very own saltwater swimming pool that he gets to swim in EVERY DAY.

And he lives in Southern California so it is always warm and sunny and perfect tennis ball weather.

He looks like he is jumping off the side into the pool in this picture,

but really he is launching off the steps.

He is very conscious of pool safety and will enter and exit only by the steps.

I am less discriminating.

Mt. Baker

As you can see, I work VERY, VERY hard.

I make sure that I eat enough snow to keep everything looking good.

I help as many customers as possible by looking very very cute.

I do my best to keep morale high in the workplace, by doing a lot of tail-wagging.

And cuddling. And snowball chasing.

Marymoor Park - my NEW favorite place!
40 Acres of off-leash muddy puddles and fields!

Remember my friend Inara? She showed me a really cool dog park today. If you remember from the last post about her, she is very very very fast and has a lot of energy. So she is kind of hard to see in pictures sometimes.

We met a large herd of Bernese Mountain Dogs.
A very big Great Dane.
Lots of labs and goldens.
And a tiny little white terrier named Milkshake. Milkshake was our favorite. She was SO fast that she ran around in circles chasing us for about 5 minutes. It was great! She wasn't fast enough to catch Inara but she definitely tired me out. She was wearing a cute little sweater but she got it all muddy and wet chasing us through the puddles. Silly humans. I'm glad Kira doesn't make me wear sweaters.

How to join us: I would love it if my friends posted about their favorite places too! If you do, please leave a comment on this post so we can link to you. And feel free to use one of these cool little pictures I made:

You can host these yourselves, by right clicking on the image and then clicking save as.

Or if you want to use the ones I have hosted here:

white: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_DIiTRn1XFyU/TPxuUGLIBcI/AAAAAAAABLo/mBcwMC3NkAo/s1600/murphy-mondays-white.jpg

black: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_DIiTRn1XFyU/TPxuTJaTGqI/AAAAAAAABLk/PO6Vmhc3IeM/s1600/murphy-black.jpg

Odds and ends and where we're at right now.

2010-12-10T22:34:00.000-08:00

First time here? Visiting from the blog hop? My name is Kira and I blog about my life post-breaking my neck in May 2010 and about my awesome golden retriever named Murphy. Sometimes I write more about me and sometimes more about him. For your first visit, I would recommend checking out the "best of" life spent wagging (so far). It has the important posts about my injury and some of our best dog-related posts. Enjoy, and please leave a comment so I can come check out your blog too!

I haven't taken any wonderful photos today, so we're going to use some from the past month or so.

Near the end of October, I spent a sweet weekend with my good friend Sara in Denver. I already shared the photos from our trip to the zoo, but here are a few from the hotel we stayed at. Each floor of the hotel was decorated in a totally different theme. Well, being mildly inebriated after a few hours at a restaurant/brewery, we returned to our hotel totally ready to explore every floor and its theme! Here, as you can imagine, is a photo from the big hair floor!

This one was from the King Tut floor. Obviously.

This is our Prom photo.

It was a super fun trip and a great weekend in Denver with a super good friend. We will be doing it again! Just as soon as we find the time, and the money. Luckily she's about to spend the next few weeks with me at my house and working at the mountain during her school break.

Around the end of November I also made a quick trip to Cheney to see Luke.

We had a good time.

We went to see his friends play with their latin jazz group.

At a dance club. I can't dance, and certainly not latin!

So I started out with a few ridiculous beverages including 1 long island iced tea,

and I felt ready to tackle the dancing.

Luke of course has taken salsa lessons and all that jazz so he is a good lead.

For someone who "doesn't dance"...I had a pretty good time!

And I think only minimally made a fool out of myself.

Back in Glacier....

Murphy has been enjoying having snow at the house.

It is good, except for it seems to give him trouble with respecting the boundaries of our yard.

And occasionally if I let him out to pee, he will pee on the deck (since it's covered in snow...)

More mountain days...getting people excited about skiing and snowboarding.

Trying to stay positive about the fact that I can't.

Today, this was a pretty hard task... I was in a lot of pain by the end of the day and so frustrated.

I will have to write a whole post on where I'm at recovery wise. It is still so hard. I still am in pain every single day. I don't feel like I have really made any progress in months.

The scar on the back of my neck has faded a bit in color,

but it's still pretty prominent.

Murphy is still cute.

Still have the cut-throat scar in the front!

Blog hop it up under the cut!

Sunny days...

2010-12-08T12:45:00.000-08:00

I am at work today at the mountain.

And it doesn't look even remotely like this!!

It is "snowing", which today is possibly a bit more like rain than like snow.

I am in a lot of pain today and I really just want to go home and lay flat on my back.

Murphy and Nara at the river

2010-12-07T12:33:00.000-08:00

Murphy's girlfriend Inara (and of course her human) came up to visit us for the night.

Inara is just a few months younger than Murphy (we think). She is a part doberman and mixed with something or other, perhaps a bit of dragon. My friends Nick and Sarina adopted her in August. We don't think that the beginning of her life was that great, but since she came to live with them she has been learning all about being a spoiled and loved puppy, just like Murphy.

Murphy is doing a pretty good job of educating her. He is pretty bombproof and non-reactive to snarl-y-ness so he is a good dog to help her learn that she can share her humans with other puppies but still be their #1 pup.

Last night, Murphy taught Inara his favorite trick - "spin".

This morning, he taught her about how awesome chuck-it by the river is! This was her first time off-leash in an unfenced area and she did wonderfully.

In case you were wondering, Inara is about A THOUSAND times faster than Murphy.

So fast she is actually really hard to take a photo of.

Turns out, Sarina is a much better chuck-it thrower than I am.

It's kind of embarrassing I guess, but they started out at the same place at the same time.

Slowwwww Murphy.

Happy, tired dogs.

Ooh a tennis ball!!

I hope you guys enjoyed Murphy's post yesterday. And I wanted to say thank you to Browndog cbr for joining us!!

written by murphy.

2010-12-05T22:01:00.000-08:00

You guys may have noticed that Kira does not generally allow me to write my own posts. Whether that is because I am not a very good writer, or because she is scared of what I might say, or just because she feels like she should draw the line SOMEWHERE when it comes to anthropomorphizing a dog, I’m not entirely sure. Well... Kira is quite tired and quite busy. We have both been working very hard, but she doesn’t seem to handle the stress as well as I do.

After we get home from a long, hard day of work, I am still perfectly ready to frolic, run around the neighborhood, and work on redecorating the house with my toys. Today when we got home, I even tried to entice her into setting out on an exploration of the neighborhood, via our five closest neighbors’ backyards. I guess she wasn’t that into it because when she finally caught up to me she didn’t seem that happy. So I offered to help out and write a post for her this week.

I decided to share with everyone a few things that I feel like she may not have really covered yet.

1. We live in an area without cell phone service.

As a dog, I find this almost totally irrelevant. But apparently not all humans feel the same way. Kira says that it is very frustrating not to be able to do something called "texting". Apparently that's how the kids communicate these days! But she says that the MOST annoying part is that when she is giving our phone numbers out to someone who will be returning a call at a not yet determined time, she has to explain to them that they can reach her on her cell phone sometimes, but that if they can't get her on the cell phone, she might not be able to get that call/message for a few days, so they should call the landline. And so on. Most people are pretty unfamiliar with the idea of a place with no cell phones. Luckily we do have a landline. All the landline numbers in our area start with the same 3 digits, so if you are asking a local for their phone number, they just give you the last 4 digits. As a dog I find this all a bit weird, but Kira tells me it's part of the culture or something. We also don't have any broadband internet. Kira has been thinking about getting satellite, but for now we are stuck with really, really, really slow dial-up. She is always using that as an excuse for why we can't sit and read all your blogs every day!

2. Or mail delivery!

We have no regular usps delivery of mail to our house. Some of the package delivery companies will deliver to our house, but other than that mostly everything has to go to our PO Box. That works out just fine, except for when we need to get an important package....like DOG TREATS! or DOG TOYS! or another one of Kira's totally unreasonable number of Patagonia packages containing even more jackets and puffy jackets and hoodies and whatever else she gets in those boxes. Because then we have to go to the post office during their open hours so we can pick the package up. And that is hard when you are pretty much working during all of those hours. Other than that, we think the PO Box works really well! The difficulty really comes when we need to explain to someone why they CANNOT send mail to us at the house address. They can try all they want but it will not get there! Kira says Verizon took 4 billing cycles to learn this lesson.

3. I am actually Canadian!

I was born in Kamloops, BC!

My dad's name is Logan

and my mom's name is Revy,

So I guess that makes me Canadian-American. I have found life in the states to be enjoyable. I do appreciate that Kira chose a workplace for us that is very very close to the Canadian border.

4. And I have a tattoo.

Being canadian, I was raised in the traditional Canadian golden retriever puppy raising way. I was tattooed with a serial number when I was just a baby. If I ever get another tattoo, I will definitely pick something more exciting!

5. Kira almost ended up with a different puppy...

Can you imagine if I was not hers???? You can read the whole story about how I took care of that and came to live with kira, just click here.

6. When I was a puppy, I was a total bully. I didn’t always play well with others!

Apparently, in my very first puppy kindergarten class, I was a total bully. I liked all the other dogs, but what I really really liked was stealing the best toys and running around with them and then taking them into a nice corner and guarding them. I guarded them really really well. I guess a little bit TOO well for puppy kindergarten. The instructor wasn't particularly helpful, and so I continued to do the same kind of thing and continued to have episodes of being not a good share-r at all.

Luckily then we found Tails a Wagging! The owner is very knowledgeable and super friendly and helped Kira figure out how to teach me to be nicer. For two weeks, Angi from Tails let Kira bring me to the puppy playtime that starts each kindergarten class everynight. I got to play with so many other puppies! And I gradually realized that it was quite a bit more fun to be involved in the action and actually playing with everyone then just hiding in a corner guarding one thing. Then we did 2 full 6 week classes at Tails a Wagging, and then after Kira broke her neck, Angi was able to get me into daycare even though there's often a long waiting list. I am so happy about that! I never stopped loving Kira, but she sure got REALLY boring after she got hurt. We didn't go hiking or play chuck it or walk or anything anymore. So I really really needed to go to daycare. And that's how I ended up a really good dog who likes to share with all my friends!

7. Kira BROKE HER NECK in MAY!!

Oh, wait. Everyone already knows about that I guess.

So there are some things you probably didn’t know about us!

How to join us: I think it would be great if you guys posted some things about yourselves that we might not know! If you do, please leave a comment on this post so we can link to you. And feel free to use one of these cool little pictures I made:

You can host these yourselves, by right clicking on the image and then clicking save as.

Or if you want to use the ones I have hosted here:

white: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_DIiTRn1XFyU/TPxuUGLIBcI/AAAAAAAABLo/mBcwMC3NkAo/s1600/murphy-mondays-white.jpg

black: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_DIiTRn1XFyU/TPxuTJaTGqI/AAAAAAAABLk/PO6Vmhc3IeM/s1600/murphy-black.jpg

PARTICIPANTS:
Browndog CBR

In which Murphy learns an important lesson about friends.

2010-12-03T14:28:00.000-08:00

Murphy is a loveable dog. And a loving dog. He loves everyone! He loves people. He loves cats. He loves dogs. He loves food!

Well, this week, he has been learning some important things about friends.

Some friends are good to have. Murphy's friend Inara has been visiting with her humans (who work with me at the mountain on weekends) every week for the past few weeks. It's great! They tire each other out and Murphy feels compelled to show off all of his exciting expensive fancy toys that spend the rest of the week alone and neglected in the toy box.

One of the especially great things about having dog friends, is that TWO cute dogs are much more likely, when combined, to get lots of treats.

Unfortunately, even brain power of two dogs put together can not always multiply two treats into four.

That's OK though, because Murphy has got the power of cute-balancing stuff on my head-ness.

So in summary, dog friends=good.

Murphy loves friends so much, he picked up a few extra while we were at my parents' house in Seattle on Monday. Unfortunately they were fleas. And he brought them to daycare with him, to meet his other friends. Well...let's just say daycare frowns upon fleas. So after failing the daily flea check miserably, Murphy and his new "buddies" got kicked out.

Important lesson learned? Fleas ARE NOT FRIENDS. It's like those signs they put up on the highway near correctional facilities -- DO NOT PICK UP HITCHIKERS.

(The real story: Despite being on Advantage, Murphy seems to have picked up a couple of fleas. As a result, we are trying Frontline to address the Advantage-resistant super-fleas and my parents are having a pest expert come to their house).

a quick thanksgiving update...

2010-11-25T17:28:00.000-08:00

The houses that surround mine are pretty much exclusively vacation rentals and are vacant almost 100% of the time. Well, tonight - for thanksgiving - the house next door is rented and we have "neighbors".

And tonight - because he is social like that - Murphy decided that he needed to go visit the "neighbors".

Specifically, he needed to go caravan around the neighborhood with their husky and then go charging around their house. What a social butterfly. And who can blame him? Some dude in the living room had CHIPS!!!!

In case some of you are wondering whether Murphy is horrifically neglected and unloved, I have made you an illustration:

turkeys, etc...

2010-11-25T02:11:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving! To be honest, I'm not a huge fan and I never have been. I'm all about thankfulness, especially lately, but the holiday rarely seems to have all that much to do with that. I don't even like turkey that much (although everything that goes along with it...cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, I love). While most people are sleeping in and pigging out tomorrow, Murphy and I will be getting up while it's dark out and working all day. Which is the same thing I have done most Thanksgivings for the last 6 years. Post-work, we have big plans. And they involve a casino. And a buffet. And going to bed as ridiculously early as possible to prepare for the fact that everyone who isn't at a mall wants to ski on black friday. Which is pretty cool because that's what I am there for!

I have been in PT for almost three weeks now. So far I have repeatedly surprised my PT with just how amazingly badly I messed my neck up! The bone is healed these days, but the trauma and surgeries have left behind a tangle of angry, seizing, torn, detached, and roped muscles and tendons and ligaments and we spend most of the time being baffled at just how incapable I am of relaxing any of it.

I have been trying for awhile to capture a good photo of Murphy and I using photo booth. Not sure why, but it seemed like a good task. He is still the same good dog, except for when he is bad. Like when he decided today to go exploring. Or when he shredded everything even close to paper I had left with him in my car. But you know...other than that he's great!

Next time... learn Murphy Security Shredding Services.

Goodnight...

2010-11-23T23:42:00.000-08:00

I am tired. Too tired to write anything really that eloquent or interesting. I have been doing a lot of facilitating of what goes on in this photo and I love it. Work Work Work!

Murphy had a lovely day at daycare today playing with his golden retriever buddies.

I have a lot to say about how terrible people in town are at driving in the snow and ice and how horrifically unprepared the city is to deal with it.

My neck hurts, a lot.

I'm too brain dead to even think about anything else right now.

Office with a view...

2010-11-20T22:02:00.000-08:00

Too exhausted to write anything interesting tonight, sorry! More on Monday...

Too exhausted to post anything with substance.

2010-11-18T22:34:00.000-08:00

Thursdays are unofficial Golden Retriever day at daycare. Yup, mine's the one in the front looking ridiculous and licking his nose.

2010-11-17T22:53:00.000-08:00

Murphy was not being super cooperative at my attempts to photograph us using my laptop & photobooth.

We are both pretty exhausted. I am writing this on the verge of falling asleep. I'm pretty sure Murphy is already passed out. Today was such a long day. Only gone from home for 12 hrs or so door to door but for some reason still totally exhausting. Probably because yesterday I left my house and 8am and didn't get home until almost 11pm and had some more intense physical therapy stuff at my appointment. Whatever the details... I'm in a lot of pain. I am craving some vicodin to make it better, because I know it would. But more than anything I'm craving a time when I can exercise without paying for it later.

Luckily I have Murphy around to remind me that looking cute and
being lazy are absolutely 100% more important than exercising.

boys I live with.

2010-11-15T09:00:00.000-08:00

This is a photo of Peder playing guitar.

And Murphy wearing his Elmo costume

(actually a toddler costume, $4!)

On Reflexes and Things

2010-11-14T15:38:00.000-08:00

I would have thought that having "brisk" reflexes was a good thing, associated with being young and strong and you know...moving briskly! False! Actually, they are not a good thing. Although decreased or completely absent reflexes are generally associated with a peripheral problem, increased or "brisk" reflexes are more likely associated with a central problem. Neither is a good thing.

What exactly is a "brisk" or hyperactive reflex? Well when my physical therapist tested my Patellar reflex (this is the one where they hit your knee) I almost kicked him in the face. He said that I show a bit of clonus. So here's what Clonus is (thanks Wikipedia):

Clonus (from the Greek for "violent, confused motion") is a series of involuntary muscular contractions due to sudden stretching of the muscle. Clonus is a sign of certain neurological conditions, and is particularly associated with upper motor neuron lesions such as in stroke, multiple sclerosis, spinal cord damage andhepatic encephalopathy. Unlike the small, spontaneous twitching known as fasciculations (usually caused by lower motor neuron pathology), clonus causes large motions that are usually initiated by a reflex.

So I guess if that is my most blatant symptom of neurological damage, I can handle that. Certainly a whole lot better than lost bladder and bowel control, not being able to walk, you know...that kind of thing. But I guess I am still adjusting to seeing myself as someone who has a serious injury that will affect me for life. I would tell you more about PT but so far it's pretty un-exciting. And by un-exciting I mean movements so subtle you would think I was joking. I guess you have to start somewhere.

In other news: I am working on some upgrades to Life Spent Wagging. The first one was an attempt to get threaded comments so I could actually reply specifically to people. I decided to use something called Disqus for this, and although I don't particularly like it it seems to have embedded itself so deeply into my blogger layout I can't get rid of it. I've been considering leaving blogspot anyway, so I guess this will have to be my motivation.

I had to drive 10 minutes to my neighboring town to use the internet this afternoon because the satellite internet at my community's clubhouse is down. I got distracted and 2 hours later I am still here. Hopefully Murphy hasn't eaten the house.

Saturday night.

2010-11-13T23:11:00.000-08:00

I remain thankful and appreciative that I am able to walk and use my hands. That said this last year has sucked, no doubt about it. I am exhausted from hurting and I am frustrated that the universe does not feel ready to give me a break.

I will post some photos of my dog dressed up as Elmo soon. Until then check out the Saturday Pet Blog Hop.

Murphy hard at work.

2010-11-05T23:10:00.000-07:00

If you are visiting for the first time, I'd recommend checking out the injury and recovery category (over there on the right) if you're curious what all this talk about my neck is, and also the Best of Life Spent Wagging to see some of our favorite posts!

Murphy and I went to work at the mountain today.

I think I've mentioned before what a hard worker Murphy is. He feels that he really pulled his weight today as I vacuumed, scrubbed, reorganized, and prepared for training today and opening for business soon (we hope). In these photos, he is focusing on re-covering our carpet in his fur. He feels that as unofficial instruction programs mascot, it is important that there are little reminders of him everywhere!

The weather today was not really conducive to great photos. But here's where "we" work!

Surveying things.

These plants won't be visible for long.

I have to be at work at 7am tomorrow morning so that's all for tonight! Check out some of the other cool blogs participating in the Saturday Pet Blog Hop:

cone of love.

2010-11-04T22:48:00.000-07:00

Like an idiot, I tripped on a pallet in the warehouse today and crashed and burned on the concrete. Not fun for anyone, and definitely not fun for me. Things seem to still be in tact although I had some tingling in my hands a bit after. I felt a little freaked out, but in retrospect, I think they were feeling weird and tingly because they had just slammed into concrete at an unreasonable speed - not because anything in my spine is messed up. But the poor traumatized muscles in my neck and back are not happy. At all. Add to that the fact that that my messed up toe that is permanently bent oddly from being bashed so many times had an unfortunate collision with the leg of my ottoman this morning... and the fact that my jaw keeps popping out when I bite into anything crunchy because I full on PUNCHED MYSELF IN THE JAW a few weeks ago (my hand slipped pulling the faucet on at work, and with so much metal in my neck I am not very effective at flinching), and I really need to stop hurting myself.

Today was a long day. Murphy and I left our house at 8am and got back around 9:15pm. Between those times, he played at daycare, I worked 8+ hours, went to a Dr.s appointment, returned stuff to Target, ran work errands, and went to a meeting for one of the programs we run about a 30 minute drive from the office (luckily it was kind of sort of on my way home).

Murphy is finally cone free. I brought it to daycare today just in case he started scratching. When I picked him up, they said that he hadn't needed it....but that he had seemed kind of bummed out. Apparently, he kept walking over to where they had the cone up on a shelf and just staring up at it longingly. Finally, his playgroup person took it down and put it on him. He started wagging his tail and ran off to play with his friends like his usual happy self. I guess he got used to being a conehead? We will have to wean him off of it, like getting a toddler to give up dragging their favorite blankie everywhere or getting a 23 year old with a broken neck to give up her vicodin.

Tomorrow I am going to work up at the mountain. I haven't told Murphy yet, but if I did I'm sure he would be stoked! Mountain means frolicking and running and playing!

Coming soon? Wyatt was a bit concerned about the quality of beer Murphy was carrying around in his cone, so we'd like to reassure him that that was our broke roommate's beer, and we love the microbrews (almost as much as we love strongbow cider!). And by "we" I really mean me, because although Murphy LOVES beer, his consumption is limited to what gets accidentally spilled on the floor because beer is terrible for dogs. Beer is terrible for people too, but I guess maybe "informed consent" comes into play. Anyways, we (I) will be making a post about my favorite beers! Just what you've always been waiting for, I know. Also, I imagine I'll show you guys some pictures of where the Murphster and I work.

Murphy wrote a quick love note to his daycare....then ate it.

2010-11-03T21:26:00.000-07:00

First, the note.

Then, eating the note...

Yum! Let's write another!

With Murphy's constant supervision, I am attempting to do a better job at blogging. He thinks that this was an effective method.

Some tidbits...

2010-11-03T01:39:00.000-07:00

Murphy is still wearing the silly cone. Yesterday we started the switch over to First Mate food (ocean fish flavor). It seems that the Innova brand (what Murph used to eat) was bought by Proctor and Gamble right around the time that I was hurt (6 months ago). So we're hoping a different food will help out with his skin issues. Poor dude. The cone does make a convenient carrying device though.
I made bread tonight in my bread machine, then was so excited about having made bread that I burnt my thumb ridiculously.

Murphy thinks that we should probably be blogging more. I have tried to explain the ridiculousness of dial up internet to him but I'm not sure he "gets" it.

I'm exhausted. Besides making bread, tonight since getting home from work at 6pm I did 3 loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, completely rearranged all of the furniture in my bedroom, and brushed Murphy. Whether or not that's a "lot" I don't know, but it's about 1000 times more than I was doing 2 months ago today.

Kira and Murphy Hard at Work

2010-10-27T22:24:00.000-07:00

Murphy and I have been hard at work lately. Interviewing, hiring, designing, editing, organizing, looking cute, you know...

This is Murphy's idea of working hard, for those of you who were wondering.

It's amazing how much Murphy has mellowed out in the last few months. He can still do the whole crazy rambunctious puppy thing, but he can also be totally awesome and lay under my desk for a few hours at work. Even with the other dogs in the office coming over and growling at his crazy cone head because they can't figure out what the deal is, and with people bustling in and out, and me getting up to go the printer/copier 6 billion times an hour.

The world (well, my world at least) is all abuzz about la nina and cold weather and snow and the ever popular debate about when exactly the ski area will open. This year is pretty different for me. I don't plan on skiing or snowboarding anytime soon, at least not until I have a good amount of physical therapy done and am feeling more confident about my neck. To be honest, I expected to feel more bitter about the whole situation than I actually do. I'm genuinely excited for all of my friends and everyone I work with and everyone who loves snowsports to have a great season and a good time.

As frustrating as it may be to not be a physical participant in the crazy opening day excitement, how can I really complain? I will be stoked for everyone and have a good time walking, throwing snowballs for Murphy, and making snow angels.

In other news

We are still working on the hotspot. I'm hoping we will get it under control enough to lose the cone in the next week or so. That said, Murphy doesn't seem to mind the cone at all.
I have dial-up internet at home these days. It's slightly better than no internet. Frustratingly slow, and not at all appropriate for viewing blogs (which I really miss doing!)
I start physical therapy on November 9th.

THIS POST CONTAINS BABY TIGERS.

2010-10-24T22:04:00.000-07:00

I spent Friday and Saturday nights in Denver, Colorado. It was an impromptu trip. Murphy REALLY, REALLY wanted to come... but I told him that I didn't think they would allow him on the airplane with his cone on, since it probably transmits some sort of satellite spy signals.

On Saturday, we spent the day at the zoo.

The Denver Zoo has 4 Bengal tiger cubs, who were born in May.

There are two boys and two girls.

This is a picture of the cubs and their mom (there are two sleeping out of view).

There was a totally awesome squirrel in this tree,

antagonizing the cubs.

As you can see, some were more lazy and less interested than others.

I have gotten to pet adult tigers before, and they were surprisingly soft.

I would REALLY, REALLY like to experience fuzzy tiger cub fur!!

A lot of the animals looked pretty lazy!

This is some weird crustacean thing, I think.

They were about bowling ball sized and are similar to ticks.

A very big turtle.

A not as big turtle.

This a baby Komodo dragon.

This is a rhino named George.

He is 27 years old (life expectancy is around 30),

and seemed to appreciate a good scratch from his keepers.

Silly penguin.

Totally awesome lemurs!

And a view from our hotel in downtown Denver.

It was a good weekend, kind of a break from reality. But I missed Murphy (who is STILL fighting his hotspot and wearing his cone)!

Perspective

2010-10-18T22:42:00.000-07:00

I have been not been taking ambien...But tonight I am desperate enough to get a good night's sleep that I took one. The comfort of knowing that I will be able to sleep through the night is amazing.

Of course, Murphy never has trouble sleeping.

I got another reminder today of how lucky I am and how important it is for me to never forget the feelings of terror and uncertainty that I had while I was in the worst of "figuring out how badly you actually mangled your neck" and "assessing neurological deficits" and such.

I probably did about 10 interviews today. Of the three of us doing interviews for our department, I would say my style is casual and conversational. That said, I find that if you set the tone for the interview as conversational, and then remain silent at some point where before you might have jumped in, the person being interviewed will often feel compelled to fill that silence before it becomes "awkward". Sometimes they will tell you something very interesting, sometimes they dig themselves a bit of a hole, sometimes they say nothing. But it's almost always interesting. That's just kind of my style.

I decided right off that bat giving interviews this year that I would probably include in my conversational introduction, the fact that I broke my neck and will be doing a lot of inside stuff this year.

Well the very last person I interviewed today is finishing up a graduate degree in kinesiology, and the focus of some of his graduate research has been on patients with spinal cord injury. We spent the bulk of the interview time talking about my neck, and just how lucky I am, and he told me a story about one of the guys he has been working with lately. He'd fallen or in some way hurt his neck, but didn't think it was broken and figured he could soldier on and it would heal eventually. 6 months later, he was in a bike accident. It turns out that his original injury had been a break, and it hadn't healed properly, and the added trauma of a second bike accident was enough to cause a SCI, and the young man is now in a wheelchair.

I don't know if I could have made it through the pain any longer than I did before going to the ER, but I'm so glad the people close to me encouraged me to got get xrays. How much really differentiates me from that guy?

We also spoke a bit about the strength and conviction and courage it takes to live life with an SCI. That is to say - not just to exist but to venture out into a now unfamiliar world and engage in new activities and really live.

I don't know if I would have been able to summon that kind of courage and determination.
Although I came close to facing a doctor telling me I was paralyzed, I have no idea what I would have really felt or though if those were the words that actually came out of his mouth.

I'm trying to see this as a timely reminder that it is important for me to maintain the perspective I gained right after I got hurt. I may have bad days or good days and frequently now they relate more to my interpersonal relationships and everyday life than to my injury, but regardless of why I feel bad, I think maybe I need a mantra or something bring me back to rational reality, which is a land where I am doing very, amazingly well, because I CAN WALK, I CAN MOVE MY HANDS, and no matter how bad of a day I might have, I am still a ridiculously lucky and blessed person to be up and about.

Lazy Sunday...

2010-10-17T16:44:00.000-07:00

Murphy at daycare, Kira at interview-land?

2010-10-16T00:02:00.000-07:00

First Time Blog Hoppers: If this is your first visit here, everything may make a bit more sense if you start out with a few of the posts about my original spinal injury (click on the injury and Recovery section on the sidebar) otherwise, if you'd rather just jump in....Here is a blog about my life doing many things, recovering from a mindblowingly traumatic injury, hanging out with my dog, and making the best of all of it....!

Does every hippie musician parent hope that there child lives in a house in the woods in the mountains someday and spends their friday nights getting drunk alone on strongbow dry cider and playing tchaikovsky on the piano (Arabian Dance from the Nutcracker, not actually that easy!!)? I think this fits with my parets hopes and dreams, although they are not particularly picky about instrument and would probably be exponentially more stoked if Luke or Peder were here playing with me!

Strongbow is key. Especially if you suffered months of no alcohol consumption due to painkillers.

Well I don't know about every hippy musician parent but I imagine that my drunken activities, even if they are solitary, make them smile. We will see if they even read this post, ast they are on their own hippy parent adventure in Yellowstone (jealousy ensues.........)

I love playing the piano, but I am a cheater. I can play a song or two more proficiently and musically than you probably can, but I cannot sight read anything. I guess that makes me a fruad....awww... I learn best either form watching some in person, watching a video of someone playing, or....most recently....the beautiful Synsesthesia. Think Guitar Hero meets piano playing, for any song that you can find in MIDI form.

Oh and about the dog....

Meanwhile, my dog is STILL WEARING THE CONE. His hotspot was supposed to be better by now, but it's not. I talked on the phone today to the girl who was in charge of his "play group" at daycare yesterday. I wanted to know whether I should add a day at daycare next week for him or whether he was not having fun because he had to wear the stupid collar. She said, and I quote….

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

Apparently my dog, always the optimist, used his cone to shovel up all of the "good" bones into a corner, and then chew on them all because none of the other dogs could get past his cone to steal them back. She said she was excited to have him come an extra day next week because it was so hilarious.

I am glad, because today I worked almost 9 hrs. We are doing interviews. In my line of work, this means talking to endless numbers of kids (they are actually adults and frequently older than I was when I started doing this job….but they still seem like "kids") who think that working at the ski area that I work at would be the BEST THING EVER. For a lot of them - it WILL be the BEST THING EVER! But the sheer amount of stoked-ness that each one seems to possess can make them occasionally difficult to differentiate from each other. I love meeting all of the people but it definitely takes energy and coming home with a totally exhausted dog is, for me, THE BEST THING EVER!

Meanwhile, I'll come home and play Tchaikovsky and try to remember which stoked kid is which.

We are participating in this weeks Saturday Pet Blog Hop!

Meanwhile, in Laramie, WY....

2010-10-12T22:42:00.000-07:00

I spent three days visiting Sara in Laramie this last weekend. I had mixed feelings about what Laramie would be like, but...turns out it was totally gorgeous!!

We did all the things that you can do most enjoyably and effectively with the person you've been best friends with since 7th grade.

We drove around looking for buffalo, and had a wonderful time even though we didn't see any buffalo (lots of antelope though!).

We sat around and watched silly tv and movies and ate ridiculous numbers of starburst and skittles until unreasonable hours of the morning and then felt like crap the next morning because -- turns out -- we are not still 12 years old. We are in our 20s and have sugar crashes comparable to those of a toddler.

We went shopping and Sara bought new plates and I almost bought an obese stuffed dolphin pillow thing that is apparently ALL THE RAGE with the kids right now but then didn't because he was too overweight (overstuffed?) to fit in my suitcase.

On our search for buffalo, google maps led us astray and we ended up at a gate that said "private bird hunting ranch, no tresspassing". So we turned around in the grass and booked it out of there before we could get shot at. Based on my very limited experience of Wyoming, everything pretty much looks like these pictures.

This is the best Forest Service sign I have ever seen in my whole life.

It was a good trip! Even if I did come home to a dog with a cone on his head.

A Post By Murphy.

2010-10-10T13:30:00.000-07:00

note from Kira: I constantly anthropomorphize my dog in real life, and here on my blog, but I've so far resisted letting him "write" a post. Oh well. I've given in to the dark side. But I'll have you know that my dog has excellent spelling and grammar!

Kira has gone to Laramie, WY, and left me here ALL ALONE with just her dad, mom, and Shadow the neurotic old lady cat and my big brother Maestro the cat. There is only ONE couch in the living room here. I did not used to be allowed on it but I was persistent and now I am too cute to be kicked off. I try to do a good job of surveying the living room and keeping the cats in line.

It is tiring work though, and sometimes I slack off a bit.

It gets kind of boring around here sometimes and the cats never seem to want to play with me. But generally it is pretty good. We don't play a lot of chuck-it but I do get an unreasonably large number of walks per day. Plus Kira's mom is on vicodin right now and it makes her very tired so she spends a lot of time on the couch with me.

Maestro let me hang out with him for a little bit the other day, but then we got caught eating the plants (it was his idea).

It was so boring around here the last couple of nights that I decided we needed some excitement. You may not know this about me, but I am excellent at developing minor yet concerning ailments that require veterinary expertise and large vet bills at inconvenient days and hours.

On Friday night I tried drooling.

I drooled A LOT.

So much that I got Kira's parents to take me to the 24hr animal hospital! Because maybe I had eaten something toxic. I had not. But it was a nice trip, I made some new friends in the vets office, and everyone was paying attention to me!

But alas, on Saturday evening things started to slow down again. Unfortunately, my scratching, drooling, and rubbing myself all over the carpet seems to have completely BACKFIRED.

I have never, ever before been subjected to the cone of shame. Crap.

Things We Love.

2010-10-07T00:21:00.000-07:00

When I posted about finally being "healed" (in the words of a surgeon -- well, his receptionist -- at least), the dogs (and humans!) over at 24 Paws of Love passed on to us a Dog Blogging award they had recently received. Part of the rules of receiving the award is that you have to share some unknown facts about yourself/your dog, and then pass the award on to some of your favorite bloggers.

Well, you all can imagine how this went for me. I started out with high hopes of getting it done the next day (because there are lots of dog blogs I love that I could totally pass it on to). But then the next day post-work I was tired and didn't particularly feel like stopping somewhere where there was internet when I could go home to my couch. But I would DEFINITELY do it the next day. (Presumably you have figured out where this is going).

Let's just say that between incredibly sporadic access to the internet, increasing work stuff (by STUFF I mean deadlines on things like getting release forms sent out to print, brochures and other marketing stuff done, and interviewing and hiring new instructors and so on), my mom's surgery today (we are each up to 2 surgeries this year, Murphy is at 1, my dad remains and WILL remain at 0), visiting Luke in Cheney last weekend, visiting Sara in Wyoming this coming weekend, and trying to reassemble something that could be called a social life - blogging has not been #1 priority. That said - I've really been missing it!

So in the spirit (but lacking 100% dedication and possessing 95% procrastination) of the award given to us by 24 Paws of Love, we'd like to share some of our favorite things.

TOYS
I try to rotate Murph's food toys at least a bit, and this week we've been breaking out the Kong Wobbler. Whether or not Murphy "loves" it is hard to say. It certainly keeps him occupied for 10 or 15 minutes (compared to the 10 or 15 seconds it takes him to inhale his food out of a bowl). Occasionally when I pull it out I get a look of disdain, as though it's just CRUEL and INTOLERABLE for me to make him work so hard for kibble. Personally, I think it's wonderful. Do you know how hilarious it is to watch your dog paw repeatedly and futilely at a toy that will NEVER actually fall over? And dispenses a mere kiblet at a time? Excellence. (Quick note, Murphy has incredibly powerful jaws and very large teeth - according to the vet - and if your dog is like him, you shouldn't leave the wobbler out as a chew toy like you might a regular rubber kong. They are hard plastic, great for dispensing food, not an actual chew toy).

BLOGS
With super limited internet time, I have a hard time reading every blog on my blogroll, and I have something ridiculous like 1000+ unread items in google reader. I try to keep up, I sometimes succeed. Here are a few of my favorites lately (although really anything on my blogroll is a favorite!)

From the Treat Jar is a blog about two goldens, Augie and Ti. Not only are they always gorgeous, adorable, and seemingly perfectly groomed, there blog is full of hilarious pictures of them and their buddies with good captions. I'm a sucker for a funny caption.

Gardening with Wyatt* is a blog about an Airedale (named Wyatt, of course) who writes about gardening with his humans and their adventures. My favorite part might be all the pictures of yummy looking produce and food. *also loved by my mom

A Dogs Life, the Real Story - Mogley is a golden retriever whose family fosters dogs for a golden retriever rescue. They have fostered 65 dogs so far, and Mogley blogs about each one, accompanied by adorable pictures.

An update.

2010-10-01T17:21:00.000-07:00

We have been hanging in there pretty well this last week. Monday was my first day making it through a whole day of commute & work with out ANY painkillers or muscle relaxants! Pretty neat.

Murphy significantly prefers the "mountains and snow and lots of fun people" part of our job to the "office job" part, but he has been doing ok. He spends most of my work day sleeping in the car and then we'll take a jaunt to the park or a friend's house, which is his favorite part. He thinks that if I shared with him the human custom of "lunch", that might become his favorite part.

I am taking a little trip this weekend...to Cheney, WA, to go see Luke!
Pretty exciting stuff.

Murphy will be spending the weekend getting spoiled by my parents.

On the agenda for when I get back? My mom's long-awaited guest post, some new pictures, I will share and pass on an award I received, and an update on life in the land of no cell phone reception, mail delivery, or high speed internet (which looks a lot like the picture below):

(Also, I just realized that my last post -- the one where my surgeon said I am ALL HEALED -- was my 100th post on this blog! How appropriate!)

A day for bad news and good news.

2010-09-27T17:42:00.000-07:00

Got some bad news about my mom today. But she is still hanging in there and I bet could write a great "guest" post for us with some encouragement (hint hint).

After that, I felt like it was unlikely my day would improve. But, unlike most of my life recently, something today went very right!!

May 6th, 2010: From VERY mangled (on the right), to not quite as mangled (on the left)

(My teeth even look straighter?)

But still broken. Fractured C-6 (Spinous process and lamina) and 2 slipped discs.

With help from some traction in the ER

(just a few hours in traction made the difference between the top right and top left xrays)

...and then 36 hours total in traction.)

And then a bone graft, some wire, and some screws (May 8, 2010)

Had a little hiccup in between when my discs slipped again...don't have a picture of that xray.

June 23rd, immediately after 2nd surgery to put a plate in the front of my neck.

Looking nice and straight.

I don't have a picture of last week's xray, but...

My surgeon says the bone has grafted and I am

HEALED!

I don't feel quite healed yet, but it definitely feels good to hear that.

A Fine Line

2010-09-26T13:22:00.000-07:00

(This post will make more sense if you have read about my neck injury and surgeries, which you can do by clicking the links on the sidebar on the right.)

I wanted to talk about the fact that today is my 5th day off of opiate painkillers. Was I addicted after 5 months of medically necessitated use? No. Was I physically and somewhat mentally dependent? Absolutely, no question about it. Dependent enough to have experienced withdrawal as I tapered down and eventually finished completely? Absolutely. Vicodin and percoset and all the others are lifesavers for severe pain. I never would have made it through the first few months without them. But, and I can say this now 5 days out I think, my pain today is not worse than it was 10 days ago on 2.5mg of hydrocodone per day, or 20 days ago on 5mg, or to be honest, maybe even a month and a half ago on 20mg. My dad says, based on his research, that the average useful lifetime of a vicodin prescription is 5-6 months. For most people at that point, the body has developed a enough of a dependency that from there on out, you most likely have to keep increasing the dose just to feel "ok".

I went in to this - like many, many other people - totally innocent and naive to the world of prescription pain meds. I left the hospital the first time with a prescription for percoset (which is oxycodone and acetomeniphen, stronger than vicodin, which is hydrocodone and acetomeniphen). I filled the prescription and took them as prescribed until I got reasonably close to running out, at which point I tapered a bit (50%). It did not even occur to me that I could get MORE percoset, I figured they had prescribed however many I needed. So I called my doctor, not for a refill, but asking for something to bridge the gap between percoset and aleve. So I was prescribed norco. Norco contains 2x as much hydrocodone as vicodin, but slightly less acetomeniphen. I took those until my second surgery, without ever needing a refill. My surgeon had told me at one point that since I was doing well, I should start taking just 1 norco at night so I could sleep, and none during the day. I will say more about this further on, but that is the ONLY time any doctor mentioned to me reducing pain medication until I began thinking about it. After my second surgery, I asked for vicodin instead of percoset. I was still pretty clueless as to the varying strengths and components at that point, but I knew I didn't want to go back to the percoset (a particularly easy decision to make in the hospital, feeling good on IV morphine).

It was after the second surgery that I entered the world of refill calls. I would call my doctor, and his nurse would call the pharmacy and I would go pick up my vicodin.

Some things to note.
1. I had a medically necessity for these drugs. The surgery I had, a posterior cervical fusion, is (as far as I can tell) one of the most painful surgeries to have and recover from. I know lots of people who have had anterior fusions/discectomies (the second surgery I had). Not a whole lot of people seem to have had posterior fusions. Although I'll admit I try to stay away from googling it because I don't want to be scarred by Dr. Google. Add to that the fact that I had both done in 6 weeks.

2. I never once took more pain meds than prescribed, and I never once had to have a rx filled early.

But a little over a month ago, I started to feel a lot of anxiety about how much pain medication I was taking and how long I had been taking it. Acetomeniphen (tylenol) is TERRIBLE for your liver. Originally, I was more concerned about that then about the opiates. I decided one day that I would see if I could go a day without vicodin. I was naive enough to think that my neck would be sore, but that I hadn't been taking it long enough to go through (ominous music)...withdrawal. I was wrong. I felt terrible. Nauseated, feverish, anxious, depressed, and most terrifyingly, like I couldn't breathe. I made it to 1pm and then decided cold turkey was NOT the way to go. Since then I have tapered down to nothing, and I have felt like crap every time. None as bad as the first (I was sick for 5 days), but bad enough.

The reason I am writing about this is because I HAD NO IDEA. No one talked to me about managing my pain meds or about the risks of using them or becoming dependent on them. I assumed, and I think a lot of people do, that because I was taking them for a legit medical need, everything would be just fine. Well, 5 months later it is. If I hadn't had my panic attack/revelation (depending on how you'd like to look at it) about taking vicodin, I might have continued to take it until my surgeon recommended tapering and helped me get off of it (who knows?). On the other hand, I can't guarantee that anyone would have done that, and I don't know, had I kept taking it as long as someone was willing to prescribe it, whether I would have had the fortitude to go through a misery of getting off of it. I just don't know. That's the number one reason I am glad to be done with it as of Wednesday.

I have read some people saying that it's awful that doctors hand them out like candy, which was not my experience. I have experienced a lot of pain, and I still do, and I'm sure I would be able to do more if I was still taking enough pain killers to make it go away. But what was missing from the process was education. I wish someone had explained to me exactly what I was taking and how much and what the risks were, and explained dependence and withdrawal and given me some guidelines. I think the fact that that doesn't happen - or at least didn't in my case - leads to two things that I see as big problems.

1. People like me, who start out taking rx pain medication for totally legitimate reasons, can easily develop a dependence and potentially an addiction. (The "Fine Line" I guess).

2. People who really need prescription pain killers, for a lifetime of chronic, long term pain, get lumped in with the drug seekers and doctor hoppers, and end up NOT getting the medication they do NEED.

This post was motivated by the research I have been doing lately about prescription drug abuse. The more I read, the more I realize that there isn't much that divided me from the people I read about who developed real addictions. Maybe there is some unknown factor, maybe it is luck of the draw, but I could see how a normal, "good", person with no history of drug abuse could end up addicted to these painkillers. I'm glad not to have gone there. I've shared a lot about my experience with this injury, and I figured it would only be fair to share this part too. I have never been one to look down on the use of pharmacological agents to improve your life. If it truly makes it better, why not? I still don't. But I'm starting to feel like I, personally, would like to be off of everything. I'm not convinced the vicodin was making my life better by the end. The two drugs I'm still on, the jury is still out. My next step towards being done is using a compounded gel version of my muscle relaxants, instead of the pill form, thus avoiding the systemic side effects.

I'll try to keep writing about the process of getting there.

(I am not a doctor, I am definitely not YOUR doctor, and nothing in this post should be construed as medical advice)

The Photogenic Mr. Murphy.

2010-09-25T16:12:00.000-07:00

Here for the first time? I recommend checking out my "best of" post. It's all been downhill from there, anyways ;).

Murphy...all cute and cozy and asleep.

Murphy: "UGH! PLEASE stop taking pictures!

I am trying to take my mid-evening nap!

If I do not get enough sleep now I will be absolutely

exhausted until my late-evening nap!"

Murphy: "Fine. There better be a treat at the end of this photoshoot."

Broken neck, (incompletely) summarized in (some) numbers.

2010-09-24T18:58:00.000-07:00

1: Number of nights so far since the pain clinic people told me to stop taking Ambien, because apparently I've been taking it too long. Also: Number of other medications that I was prescribed for sleep that didn't do anything.

2: Number of surgeries. Also: discs removed, neurosurgeons, places in which I broke my C-6, number of episodes of Ice Road Truckers I watched between 3am and 7am this morning.

5: Number of episodes of House I watched between when I "went to bed" last night and when I got out of bed this morning. Also: months since I got hurt, total number of nights in the hospital.

More than 5: Number of times since breaking my neck I have felt good enough in the morning to put on an over-the-head piece of clothing only to get stuck in it and have to wait for someone appropriate to liberate me.

8: Number of medications I currently have prescribed in my name, although I don't currently take most of them.

70: Number of miles driven on a typical day I go to work.

Unknown: Number of people who think someone is trying to strangle me because I ineffectively hide the bruises from the "cupping"my acupuncturist does. In case you don't feel like clicking the link, it essentially consists of me paying someone over $50 an hour to beat me up using an ancient eastern technique (and not even a ninja...).

In other news,

My mother is doing quite well so far.

Murphy is still cute.

I suck at reading and commenting on your blogs, sorry.

If you could recommend me some really engaging podcasts for when I cannot sleep, that would be excellent. Conversely, f you could recommend me some really boring and sleep-inducing podcasts, I guess that'd be ok too.

Books would be cool too.

The Big C.

2010-09-21T18:15:00.000-07:00

Murphy, who remains pretty sure that "C" could only ever stand for "Chuck-it".

It's been a long time. Not to break out the excuses or anything...but let me start with some excuses. Life has dealt my family a pretty rough set of cards this year.

It has been almost 5 months since I got hurt... Thursday will make 3 months since my second surgery. I'm still pretty incapacitated but I have been back at work at least a few days a week (ask me about brochures and legal releases and broken copier-induced nervous breakdowns...) You could say I've been trying to return my life to something resembling "normal".

So exactly 1 day (seriously) after I went back to work, the ball started rolling on a whole different challenge for my parents and I.

My mom has cancer!

No, I'm not kidding. Yes, this is actually happening in 2010, which is so far going down in history as The Worst Year Ever for Kira's Immediate Family.

Are we collectively paying the price for the sheer luck of me still being able to walk? Did we unknowingly do something to anger the karmic bookkeepers? Are we just setting up to have a really unbelievably excellent 2011?

I think it will be ok in the end. My mom is teeny tiny (see below, with my dad, Pal, and the Cone of Shame) but apparently tougher than either Murphy or I. We rendezvoused last night after her surgery. I was expecting to finally enjoy someone else's opiate painkiller induced haze for once... only to hear: "I took an advil and it really took the edge off". Oh well. Murphy and I enjoy our post-surgery prescription painkillers, I guess.

Speaking of which, I am almost opiate free. By "almost" I mean engaged in a tapering routine that currently involves cutting single vicodin pills into unreasonably small fractions. Predicted vicodin-free date? Tomorrow. But maybe Thursday. or Friday. Depending on how my appointment at the pain clinic goes, and whether it's possible to cut the pills into 1/8ths without feeling too much like a drug addict.

Not sure what else to say. Life's not supposed to be easy, I guess.

One 5 month old puppy, one 3500 mile roadtrip, lots of pictures...

2010-09-11T17:01:00.000-07:00

Not much going on this weekend for Murphy and I...just work for me and lots of naps for Murphy. So I thought I would share some pictures from the road trip Murphy, Luke and I took through Washington, Oregon, and California last September. We travelled from Bellingham, WA (that's practically Canada), through Oregon via Mt. Hood and Crater Lake, all the way south to Orange County, and back north along the coast. Here are just some of the pictures:

Day 1: Murphy with his "puppy".

These days, puppy is missing both ears and "retired".

On the first day of our trip, at the Lucky Lab Brewery in Portland, OR.

On the first evening of our trip, it started DUMPING rain.

So Murphy got to have his first hotel experience.

The next day as we headed toward Bend, OR, it was bright and sunny (of course).

Camping at Crater Lake we enjoyed a low of 25 degrees.

The next night at Shasta Lake it was more like 75.

Only one other campsite in this whole campground was occupied.

There was an awesome ranger there who kindly warned us about the bear who had been "hanging out".

We spent all evening eyeing those bushes!

A very nice older lady from a tour bus of retirees took this photo for us.

We camped at an awesome campground near Santa Cruz.

Murphy like the sand.

Met another golden retriever puppy while we drank margaritas in Capitola.

Murphy's motto: Walk softly and chew on a large stick.

It took a little bit of convincing but Murphy pretty soon was playing in the ocean.

Then he figured out that if he just waited long enough, the tide would bring his toy back.

Lazy dog.

Sorry this picture is blurry, but it is not easy to take a good photo of two young retrievers!

This is Murphy's cousin, Murphy the Lab.

Lab Murphy has his own saltwater pool.

I think this might have been Murph's favorite part of the whole trip!

Pacific Coast Highway.

At the Trees of Mystery (Redwoods!)

They have a sweet gondola ride, and they allow dogs everywhere,

including the gift shop.

Tired puppy, almost home.

That's our contribution to the Saturday Pet Blog Hop this week!